Issues, we all have them....

When I was little, before 10, I still had my witch of a great-grandmother, on my mother's side. She was mean, rude, nasty and she had a moustache. Bitter, yes. I don't recall any other defining moment when I felt I may be a little thick, then when this blind witch, asked me to come near her and give her my hands. From my hands this hag had the gall to call me fat. I of course, went running to MY beloved grandmother, her daughter, and cried. My loving grandmother told me 'ignore her, she's an old woman' or something to that effect. However, I now knew that I was not skinny. Too young for someone to develop insecurity issues if you ask me. So this hag not only started my path of self doubt she also had the nerve to die in my bed. She came for a visit when my sister was born. All she wanted to do was hold her great-grandaughter, she probably thought Deb was thin coming in at 7 pounds 11 ounces, but I digress. She comes for a visit, lucky me got to give up my bed for Cript Teller, and she promptly dies. My fantastically amusing parents kept telling me she wasn't dead, she was unconscious. Guess what? I'm not an idiot. That furry hag was DEAD. And you know what? Pssh, I did not feel bad about it, at all, and I still don't. You might think I hold grudges or animosity towards her, if you knew me you'd know I do hold grudges, so beware, but I really don't think much about it. She was an evil, diabetic, troll who felt the need to abuse me. She wasn't so kind to my mother, her granddaughter either. I could talk about mum's issues, but hey, let bygones be bygones, right? I tell my kids, if anyone ever tells you such a nasty thing, they have my permission to tell her to go shave. Or whatever applies to their situation. She was lucky that I never tampered with her diabetic medicine they left out on the dresser, or did I???? just kidding, I'm not a murder...It's not a very Princessy thing to do. Plus, who wants to go to jail and be some butch lesbian's bitch? um, no thank you. So if any of you have a sweet, tender story like mine, let's all let it go together. However, I do enjoy bringing her up at the dinner table and laughing like a hyena about it.

Everyday I'm shufflin

For the last week or so, since my gurl Shelly told us a story about that song from LMFAO the group, I usually wake up singing it. It's quite catchy if you haven't heard it. (note to Keith, it's not by the guy in the Dr Pepper ad). So this past Sunday, Shelly and I hung with our Buford Shore hottie, Matthew. He was at a sports bar watching his beloved Steelers and we are girls who like beer and football, so it was obviously a good match. I lived in Pittsburgh for about a year, and thanks to TMI from Mum, that's where Debra was conceived. All together now, ewwwwwwww. Anyhoo, Matthew is a fun fellow, not yet 30, no steady relationship, since he got out of an eternity length one, and ready to go anytime you say so. Matthew, Buford Shore, is built like he works out all day long every day, he smokes and drinks, and has this raspy voice. I found out from his stepfather, he has always been like this, has always sounded like that. I almost wanted to ask if his mother smoked while he was in utero, but you know, didn't want to be TOO nosey. Matthew's stepfather was a nice enough guy, and apparently I struck his fancy. I know what you are thinking, lucky you? yeah, no. Nice enough guy, but no thank you. Matthew is a good wing guy though, he never let his dad get too touchy or too close without coming over. We had this sweet, kind and pretty server. Shelly and I were really putting in the good words for Matthew too. Turns out she knows Matthew from a friend. However, she still was keeping an open mind about talking to him. We got his back, told her what a greay guy he was, yes he talks smack but is a really good guy. Matthew came up with a new slogan as well, and while not really clean, it is funny as heck. I almost spewed my beer out laughing. Oh, and we made one patron leave our area. We were either too loud, too raunchy, or too cute. You pick. Matthew and Shelly enjoy talking about sex, anywhere, everywhere all freakin day long. I finally had to throw back a few SHOT SHOT SHOT SHOTS just to stop being embarrassed. I think you can like sex, but you don't have to talk about it all the time. But together, they are unstoppable. If I were a virgin, they would scare me.

I love Fall and this is why:

I have always loved the cooler temps. When I was growing up in South Florida, I think it was due to my naturally wavy and thick hair would actually look human. Humidity and my hair are not friends. BUT with the cooler temps, I could style and blow dry and voila, not half bad. Now I can flatiron it but you know I'm old, so they didn't have that when I was growing up. The good thing about Atlanta is you get all four seasons. Florida gave us two. Hot and Hotter. We are in the middle of September and the temps are cooler, the breeze is fuller and the leaves are wildly colorful. Ahhh such bliss. I always say that the cooler weather goes better with my personality. Not going to lie, if I don't like you, it's not a secret. Subtlely at it's best. My ex used to have a dream of running for office, I was scared they weren't going to let me be, but drag me out for the dog and pony show. I don't lie, and again I can't fake it if I don't like you, respect you, want to beat your face in. Thanfully, I was not chosen for that path. I would say my personality is warm and friendly, IF I already know you. My sister and a few friends could talk to the wall and make friends with it. I'm a little more subjective to whom I allow in my space or my life. I would say I'm more catlike. I pick you, you do not pick me. That may sound snobbish but it isn't like that either. You could have a lot of money, be beautiful on the outside, compliment me all day long, but if I don't trust you, want you near me or like you around, it ain't happening. I'm more intuitive as well. There have been many a person that my friends would be so excited about and I would meet them and in 5 seconds know if they were good or not. You know what I'm talking about, right? You meet someone and your antenna goes up? Or you get a bad feeling about them? That's your intuition telling you, 'um no, we will pass on this freak.' So listen next time!

Football?? Yes please!

I have to say, I don't understand why some girls don't appreciate football. What's not to love? You have big, beefy guys, in a spandex/lycra mix pant, hot and sweaty. Need I say more? Baseball? B-o-r-i-n-g. You sit there waiting, praying for excitement, if you're lucky, something breaks in the 7th inning. Yawn. When my baby daddy and I lived in Southern Cali, we attended more than I care to admit, Dodger games. The last time I went, I took a few magazines, got my beer and Dodger dog and by the 3rd inning I was ready to hang myself. My dad is a huge Dodger fan, and this particular game was so boring that even my Ex said "let's go." Or I finally won with my continual sighs of boredom and he caught on. We are out of the stadium and all of the sudden the crowd roars. Turns out the Dodgers had a big play and ended up winning that game. My dad was so upset they were losing, until he heard about my leaving and their sudden turn, he banned me from Dodger Stadium. I don't think I ever thanked him for that, so dad "Thank you for not making me suffer anymore."

My friends and I are big football fans. Pro and especially college. My family are Florida Gator fans. I know, I know, those who know us had no clue, we are stealth that way. Everytime my parents come to visit, I fear for our lives. My father's "vehicle" is covered in Gator stuff. And in my town, UGA rules, sooooo you can see my fear. And my dad is not a quiet fan, if you make a comment about the Gators, (he is always wearing a Gator shirt), God help you. He will challenge your comments. The rest of us slowly walk away, not too far, but out of the line of fire. If you aren't a Gator fan, he's ok with it, but he feels sorry for your pathetic team. Again, subtlety. My fam wreaks of it. A lot of my friends don't have inner monologues either, and me? Well, OBVIOUSLY, I don't possess that quality either.

I have 2 cats, FINE I HAVE 3!

I have two cats I but found a stray that I have been feeding for nearly a year, so I guess I have three. Whatever....

It was a lovely weekend over with the Buford Shore. We only had 1 member, but hey, we like him just fine so it was all good. Sunday we went to a housewarming for my girl Shelly's mum. I made a side dish and we brought our own drinks, they had hot dogs, (spicy), pickles, (spicy), two kinds of potato salad, both were yummy. Cole slaw, my noodles, pork, rice, mac & cheese with bacon that were too good for words. Quite the nice feast. By the time we got there everyone was feeling no pain. Deb, Shelly and I were planning our exit strategy when from the heavens we hear shouting and F-bombs. I thought this was a cue. Of course, if I don't get into fights, I sure like to know why others do. I'm nosey that way, thanks mum. Apparently, one guy was sick of hearing BS of another guy and then that escalated. Ah, good friends indeed. The best part was the over 60 couple who came back in from outside smelling of pot. And I don't believe it was for medicinal reasons either. I'm not a detective, but I firmly believe I am correct in this assumption. Shelly's mum had muscle relaxer pills on the table, and I wanted each of us to have some to go, but our morals told us no. Rude.

 Next weekend is my father's birthday, AND a Gator game. Can you say Yahtzee? As always, I will keep you all posted. Have a grand week.