End of another year

Let's see, what have we all learned after another year? Anybody?

I've learned that you still can't change anybody.

That you really do have to try and please yourself bc you can't please everybody. However, not if that means you hurting another.

I've learned time really does fly by even though there are periods where you feel it has stopped.

I've learned that children really do listen to what you have to say, even though you think it falls on deaf ears.

I've learned that old people really do get cranky and senile.

I've learned that people you think are your besties are not always what they seem.

I've learned that when you take different meds to even out your depression you can gain 1,000 lbs without trying.

I've learned that I could actually purchase condoms for my son so I don't become a grandma in 2015.

I've learned that we are never ever done learning, and teaching things.

I've learned that I still love Christmas and all it entails. I love saying Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanza or Feliz Navidad.

I bid you all a peaceful, loving and safe end of 2014. Kisses and thank you for reading.

Shopping with significant others...

In the last few weeks, I have heard my girls complain about shopping with their significant others. Even when I have one, I know better than to go shopping with them. I shop with friends. Friends don't ask "do you really need that?" or "I don't think so and so would want that." They have either had a man act like a petulant child, meaning he was either riding in the basket, aka Matthew, or taking selfie's of himself sitting in a chair or laying among toilet paper. Oy! Who needs that? If I wanted to shop with a child, I would borrow Michelle's grandbabies. At least they have an excuse for their behavior.

Another friend told me how her experience was not so much that attitude, but her trying to buy for others and he's trying on clothes for himself. Ummm, do that on your own time buddy. At this time of year, if you are shopping together, genuinely it's for a present, and not for your arse. I told her I would have left him and continued along my path. He has a cell phone, he knows how to call or text when he notices you are gone. If he is posing in the mirror, he doesn't even notice you have left.

I told all my guys, your purpose when shopping with your woman is this: Push the cart, or carry the items, help take them to the car, no pouting, no bitching and if need be, slap some duct tape on their mouths. You could try the trick I used to do to my beloved's when they were little and get out of hand. Get real close to their face and pinch their arm and say really quietly, "if you don't sit down, shut up and act right, I will kill you when we get to the car!" This always changed their attitudes. My kids are smart like that, they know they can push but when Momma breaks to death threats, and gives you the grandma Korol look, you know you better fly right or you're going home in the trunk, if you're lucky.

In closing, remember peeps, the escapade of shopping is for pleasure, do not make this a chore for your lady. 9 times out of 10, she is shopping for people on your list and doing you a favor, so appreciate her taking time out of her bizzy schedule to get things for you and your annoying family or friends, and shut the fuck up!

Kisses to all.....

My men friends aka my Minions.....

Ever since I was young I've always had more male friends than female friends. I don't know if it was where I lived or because I have always been a guys girl. Sure I call myself a Princess, however, (that name was given to me, I did not name myself). But I'm really not foo foo or too girly. I do like sparkly eyes and blingy jewelry but I can get wet in the rain, I can slum around in sweats without make up and not have a seizure. When I date a guy I take off my make up at night, so they know how scary I really am, it's just part of life and who I am. I have no facade, what you see is completely what you get with me. If you haven't noticed that already kids. lol...

In the last year,  some of my younger mens have developed love relationships with great ladies. I normally don't have a problem with any of their ladies unless something happens and then I try to keep my mouth shut and suck it up and try to use my manners that Mum has beat into me, sometimes to no avail, but she does get an A for effort. The beauty of when my mens get gf is that I suddenly get gifts for my birthday. I get cards, or like in Matthew's case the lovely Karebear cooked me lunch, made a cake from scratch and appetizers too. It was truly lovely. I got to hang with Matthew and watch football, drink beer and play with the dogs, and she catered to us. She is such a love and why I don't expect gifts, it's always nice to receive them. When I had my birthday outing Thrilla's lady Tracey, bought me a card and something else but I had had a few adult beverages by then. I just remember reading the card the next day. But again, they didn't have to do any of that. For me, just you taking time out of your busy schedules to spend a few hours with me, was enough.

Only recently have I lost a men to his lady and you know what? That is his journey to take. The last time I spoke with him to my knowledge, nothing was wrong and he said that I would be getting an apology from her for a misunderstanding. Next thing I know he's not returning texts and I hear it's bc of something I said. Ok, if you say so. People have to do what they feel is right for them. Initially, I was very hurt bc I trusted, loved and appreciated this guy for 2 years. So it was quite the shock not to have my Waffle House partner to depend on. I wish them nothing but the best. You don't want to be my friend, no worries, you don't have to be. But we all know, I'm fantastic and always good for a few clumsy laughs.

Till we meet again kids, Kiss Kiss, Hug, Hug and Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza and Feliz Navidad!

My baby is growing up, sniff.......

Beloved #2 has a new girlfriend. He's had a gf before but that one only lasted a few weeks. When you ask him why they broke up he will tell you 'because she was crazy and I wanted off that merry go round', at the time, dude was 16 and he still has more brains than his Mum. Maybe he has learned from my past.....I asked him if he broke up with her via text and both my sons chimed in " Do we look like douchebags to you?" touche' sons, well played. I know 40 year olds who just disappear so I applaud when a man breaks up like a man. Ahem.

This new gf is in chorus and as you may remember beloved is in musical theatre. I think they compliment each other nicely. I met her briefly, as he was making her dinner on my pre birthday moovie night. Since they wouldn't be together Thanksgiving, he wanted to do something special for her. (cue the ahhhhhhhhhh's) He is his mother's kind hearted, loving, and even thoughtful son. Beloved #2 is over 6 foot 3 and his gf is shorter than I. I am 5'6 AND she wears flats. hahahha I had to laugh bc as it is even when I wear heels I'm looking up to him. Maybe he just carries her around like a little puppy or doll.

This past weekend both beloved's went to my high school bff and helped her huzband hang outdoor lights. She was too gracious and over paid them but I digress. He barely had the money in his hands for 10 minutes and he wanted to go to the mall to this character store to see if they had a stuffed Penguin bc that is gf's favorite. (again, cue ahhhh's) He is so adorable with this new love that I envy him. Don't we all remember when we were in the first stages of deep smit with a new love? Sigh, it's nice to see that he hasn't become jaded by me or his lovely father's dating comments. I can only imagine how those have improved over time, not.

As this giving season continues, I just hope beloved and his love remember to think about what they say, do and how they act so they don't lose this current feeling. All love ages and we take our partners for granted, but we don't have to. Just remember how this feeling feels, and I bet they will keep that love train running on the right track.

Till we meet again kids, Kiss Kiss.

Thanksgiving or in my case every 7 or so years...MY BIRTHDAY!

When I was younger my Mum would make us our favorite meal for our birthday. I was always so excited because my meal was always cabbage rolls with meat and rice. Yummmo! But I remember one year it fell on Thanksgiving and I was somewhat annoyed because I had to spend it with people I didn't really care for. Let me explain. My parents always invited people who didn't have plans or family for the holidays. This particular year, this douche that worked for my Dad, was coming. He was such an elitist and really had no reason to be. Dude was gangly, ugly and just down right boring. But alas, I had to be nice, which anyone who knows me knows, I don't do nice.

So this year I was outside, being in south Florida I could do that, and douche and his then girlfriend, whom was pretty as I recall, shockingly,  come up the stairs to our apartment. He made some comment and I mumbled something snide, I'm sure you all cannot even fathom that, and not 10 minutes later Dad came out to have a chat. My Dad was NOT the authority parent, that fell to Mum but in his defense, she did do a bang up job with it. Anyhoo, he came out and told me something to the effect that today we need to be thankful because it's a day we celebrate our friends, family and whatever else spin he was trying to put on it. I know it may hard to believe, but I could be rather bratty, not so much anymore, hee hee...

As I look upon this Turkey day, it happens to fall on the Princess birthday yet again and me and my sons, and Mum are heading over to my BFF from high school, Stephanie's hizzy. I can only imagine how delicious this meal will be as her huzband is an Executive Chef and she is quite the hostess with the mostess. I'm convinced this moniker was named for her. I will be bringing Lobster Mac and Cheese a favorite of my sons, and Cheesecake Factory's Pumpkin Pie cheesecake, I think I just gained another 10 pounds. Bleck.

I wish all of you and your family a very happy, safe, and drama free holiday! Kiss kiss...

Babies, Fall and Me

I don't know about you all, but I love this time of year. I love the cooler temps, the changing colors of the leaves and bushes, I love the wind and the smells of Fall.  And who doesn't like some Football with the hot pants? I guess you could say, I am in love with Fall, and that's ok. Fall won't lie to me, Fall won't ignore me, and Fall will never be mean to me.

Growing up in FL, I remember this time as cooling down some, and though there wasn't a whole lot of foliage going on, I do recall my hair wasn't so difficult to style and for me, that was a major plus in my somewhat slack routine. Sooo wasn't the Princess I am now about hair and make up. I barely wore make up in FL because when you have a tan, why put on blush? My cheeks were always rosy anyway so it was redundant. I barely swiped my lashes with mascara, much to the horror of my Mum and BFF. I remember both of them were always trying to get me to apply mascara and eye shadow but alas, I can't be forced to do anything I don't want to do. THAT still has not changed in my 900 years of me.

Another reason I love this time of year is it's close to Beloved #2's birthday, he's an October baby and now I have my other BFF who is due in October,  it may happen in September, but it's still Fall and it's still something I will now add to look forward to. My birthday is in the fabulous month of November, so obviously, that is my favorite month. Beloved #1 is a February baby, so that's my second fave and then October. I also love Halloween and we all know what month that's in. Complete win win if you ask me, Fall is the diggity bomb!

My spectacular friend that is giving me my second  nephew, is due any day, and the rest of us are so excited. But as a new Mom to be and after hearing all the labor horror stories we all told this past weekend, she's a wee bit nervous and perhaps even a smidge terrified. I keep telling her, we were all there. No one can truly prepare you for your first labor, delivery and hospital stay with your first child. You've seen too many movies, shows, and heard way too many people's labor stories. But she is a trooper and I know my gal Holly will be a pro her first time. She's one of the strongest people I know. This baby is going to be quite lucky with her and her huzband for parents. Both of them are artistic, (not autistic people), fun, intelligent humans and I know Grant will be just as amazing as they are because he will have the best of both of their talents. I just hope his head is big enough for how much brain he will be born with. By the same token, I don't want an alien headed nephew either. Hmmmm, what a conundrum.....Till we read again, Kissy Kissy.

Vertigo...the best dizzy condition there is....NOT

This week I had the delightful return of Vertigo. For those who don't know what this is, it's when your mind decides to f*ck with you. It's quite similar to having one too many adult beverages except when you wake in the morning, it doesn't leave. You experience dizziness, feeling foggy headed (which let's be honest, I already suffer from this without help), sometimes a headache will accompany it. The worst I had ever had was the very first time I was graced with this affliction. We were at my Mum's house celebrating her birthday, so it was August. I had a sinus infection a few weeks before and they thought maybe that triggered it. I go to get out of my parent's bed, since there was four of us, they gave us their room. Beloved #2 was 10 months, and just the cutest, naturally. He woke me up to change him. I picked him up, the room started spinning, and I literally, threw him to his daddy and ran to the bathroom to throw up. I then laid my arse down on the bathroom floor and didn't move. Baby daddy came in after an hour and dragged me out to the side of the bed because he needed to take a shower. Yeah, don't worry about me down here almost paralyzed, take your shower, yea, nice. I say paralyzed as any movement to my head and the room would spin and instant nausea hit.

After 8 hours of laying in this same spot, they called the ambulance as I was dehydrated not being able to drink and or eat. Great diet, right? Anyhoo, my Beloved #1 was soooo cute telling the paramedics to 'take care of my mommy'. Now he would probably just tell them to move me because I was blocking the TV and he couldn't play his games. Love you Skyler. :) My Mum rides with me to the hospital and they inject me with saline and then give me an anti-nausea medicine. After a few hours they let me leave since Mum was a nurse, they knew I would be ok. Back to bed I went and stayed there for 3 days as I could not sit up without puking. I have to do the unthinkable and let my baby daddy drive us from Chattanooga to our home in Lawrenceville. Haven't I suffered enough I ask?

Since that began  17 years ago I occasionally have a recurrence. Thankfully, nothing as bad as the initial time. Usually, it starts when I roll over to the right for sleep, and my body sends a message to my brain that says "ABORT! ABORT!" and I have to roll over either on my back or to the left.

There is no cure, but they give you meds like you were sea sick. I have tried accupuncture and this trick my ENT showed me. You'll love this little nugget, you lay on your side and wait for the spinning to stop and then you roll, yes I said roll, to the other side in a complete circle to move the crystals back into place. Basically, Vertigo is a condition where the "rocks" in your ears become loose and offset your balance. By doing this trick it's supposed to put them back in the correct spot. Sounds fun, right?

Hope you all have a lovely weekend and until we meet again, kissy kissy.

When A Man Loves A Woman? How About When A Woman Loves A Man?

There are movies called "When A Man Loves A Woman" but what about when our dumbarses love a a man? I have seen women drop their friends, lose all touch with reality and completely engulf themselves into their mans life. I had one count it uno boyfriend when I was in high school. And after a few months we both knew it was done. I have known friends who had to have a man in their life or they weren't complete or they weren't worthy to be in the world. UM WHAT THE F*CK DID YOUR MOTHER TEACH YOU? My Mum raised us to be independent, self sufficient and to love ourselves. Now, she wasn't Mother Teresa, meaning, that if she thought we looked bad she would ask us "Are you sure you want to wear that out?" So if we ask our friends now a thousand times, "do I look ok?' you know why. My dad was a dance teacher, manager and then owner of Arthur Murray Dance Studios. He worked late mornings and then would come home for dinner and then be back to work by 5 until 10 every week night. My Mum is a nurse and then she walked the hospital floors. She would work the night shift so that rarely, we would need daycare. My Mum worked up until a few years ago. She had long quit the hospital floors, but she was in management for a health care provider and spear headed a new program. I'm quite sure she was an excellent, proficient and thorough boss. I know what we had for a Mum. There was no pulling wool over this lady's eyes. Not gonna happen, like ever.

But what I took from that was, I never needed a man to pay my bills or complete me or even to survive. Even when she was younger her parents didn't send her to school with the attitude of 'catching a man'. God knows the one she did catch my grandmother wasn't initially thrilled with. My dad hailed from Canada, so my grandmother, who was very proper as a Dr's wife, called him "the foreigner". hahahahahah. But my grandmother was kind, independent and handled her business too. She didn't work outside the home, but she and my grandfather had such love and respect for each other, that sadly, I rarely see it now. My grandmother also showed you didn't NEED a man, but it was ok to WANT a man. But want him for companionship, love, friendship, not for his wallet or his social status.

When I see some of the girls today and listen to the reason they want someone around, I don't feel bad that I'm not married, engaged or have a boyfriend. I like doing things with my friends, without having to ask permission or get it cleared with him. And let me state that when I say "cleared with him" I mean that he makes my social decisions, not me saying 'hey I want to go here with so and so and him saying no". That doesn't happen with any man I date because if it did it would end quickly. If I tell you where, what with whom I'm doing things, that's ok, but if you feel you have the authority to tell me where, what and with whom, we have a problem. I don't do well with people telling me what to do. I'm a grown up, I got this.

In closing let me leave you with this. If you are liking someone and you want to share your life, do what feels good to you. But don't let them dictate who you see or who you become because then you are no longer the person they once were interested in. Change for you, change for your personal happiness, not someone else's. As always, kisses to you all.

My Beloveds..My Loves, My Heart (what's left of it)

Where to begin when I speak of my "Twin Towers", my  "Bouncers", my life. I always knew I would have kids, I just didn't realize how much time it would take to achieve them. But once we had a hold on the issue, I was blessed with two beautiful bouncing, happy sons.

The first born beloved was beyond easy in terms of pregnancy, cravings, size. The foods I craved while pregnant with him, is now his favorite foods. Kind of neat when you think about how your cravings were from another life you grew. The only "complication" I had with him while pregnant was that he was causing PreEclampsia. No biggie. So I gained a few extra pounds, and I got bloated and had the "mask of pregnancy" pshhh, Skyler was totally worth it. As I have written before, I had to have a C-section with both of my children. Skyler flipped and had his head up and was sucking his thumb and they didn't want to try and turn him inutero. Thank the heavens for small miracles, as I have a high pain threshold, however, none of that sounded comfortable. ;p

As Skyler grew,  he was a happy, smiling, gap toothed baby who loved Goofy. I think it's because he could relate to his gap teeth. :)...Every year we would take him to Disney World for his birthday. He loved hugging the characters, and wouldn't care if there was a line, he would just run up there and hug them. But because he was so adorable no one said anything. Naturally, I was always screeching "there's a line!" but people would say it was "ok" or wave me a sign. That's how much charisma this child had. He had blond spiky hair, and deep blue eyes. He was our little "Rooski".

My second baby boy Spencer, was the biggest baby I had ever seen, but you know, 10 pounders don't tend to be small at all. I was eating pepcid like it was candy, oy! He won his pediatrician the "baby lotto" the day he was born. Claim to fame at only hours old. He too was a sweet baby, and by 4 months was sleeping through the night. Unlike his brother who didn't sleep completely until he was 3 1/2. But I blame his Dad on that. Skyler would make a slight noise and Dad was in there comforting him. With Spencer he could scream bloody murder and Dad would say "he's ok". Nice. Spencer was Mommy's little Pooh Bear.

 I sang songs to both my sons and I even made some up while I was changing them or cuddling them or putting them to bed. At bedtime, both of them received a book reading. Like most kids, they loved to be read to. Both of them still read, just one does it off the computer and the other likes to actually read from a book. I'm with the latter, I still like holding the book and flipping pages. Old school like his Momma. :)

Now one son is a bonafide adult at 21 1/2, and the other will be 17 in 3 months. Sniff. Where did the time go? It goes by way too fast, and I tell new parents now when they talk about the sleepless nights, or the sickness, or the terrible two phases, you will miss this, ALL of this because before you know it, you are the grandparent and wonder how all of that happened without you feeling like you got older.

Kisses to all.

10 Signs your man is more of a girl than you.....

I have dated some unique men in my day, but some of these guys took the tiara from me. Exhibit A:

10. If you open your sunroof and the first words out of his mouth are "OH! My hair!".

9.   He takes longer to get dressed than you do.

8.   When meeting your friends he extends a limp handshake. (side bar they still make fun of me)

7.   When he has a tramp stamp, and you don't.

6.   When he has a toe ring, and you don't.

5.   When he tells a story or gets super excited and his hands flail more than a 15 year old girl whose 
       crush just asked her out.

4.   His hands are softer and more feminine than yours and most of your girlfriends.

3.   He has less body hair than you do.

2.   He hires people to fix things around the house and do yard work.

And the number one sign you're dating a girl-man:

1.   You think he is done with his hair and he has to go back upstairs to finish. When you  ask  why, his reply is "It's a process!".  

God save the Queen.......until we meet again, kissy kissy

Depression...it's not just for breakfast anymore..

I try to be real, honest and forthcoming in my blogs. This will be no exception. I will also include some humor so that you get this may be sad but it does have some funny moments.

I have dealt with depression since I was a teen. Of course then I thought it was because I was a teen. I felt so lost, lonely etc. As I got older I would have 'sad' days but it would pass. When I first went through my divorce it was really hard, I was very sad and hated the fighting and arguing that would ensue regarding custody. But again, I rebounded as I have all through my life.

A few years ago I was given a prescription for Prozac and it wasn't for depression it was for anxiety. Things at work and home that had never bothered me before were now too much for me to handle. Which if you know me, you would know that's not me. I deal, I handle and I conquer all that needs to be done. Always have and I always will. I'm not Tom Cruise who thinks people with depression need to just exercise or eat better or just "suck it up". Hey freakazoid, not all of us are special or pretend as well as you.

Last fall I started feeling down and really lost. I didn't want to do anything for my birthday, it wasn't an exciting year, I was dreading the holidays because the only sibling I had was now gone. I felt like a total bitch because my kids and my Mum were being caught in the middle of how they were going to celebrate the holidays. Thankfully, my kids get we will never have the Korol family get togethers we had in the past. They will have time with me, their Dad and their Aunt. I'm completely ok with that. It's nice to see she is finally spending quality time with them after all these years. The problem that I have is that she goes to my baby daddy's house for dinner and invites him to her house as well. But hey, whatever makes it right in her mind. It no longer bothers me. But this is when my depression started hitting, last September.

So in November I ask for a refill for Prozac, as I had stopped taking it for 2 years. My doc did and this go around it just didn't lift me the way it had in the past. I wasn't suicidal but I wasn't "me" either. I don't like being the gloomy, party pooper in the group. I like to be the postive, uplifting, glass is half full girl. I completely believe in karma and giving out good thoughts and vibes into the Universe for good to come back to you. February through Father's Day is no longer a good time for me as when my Dad passed he was hospitalized from February until his passing in April. Every year it still brings that all back. This year however, went so much better. I didn't cry this Father's Day so go me. I had spent the weekend with a high school bestie, Stephanie and her husband Michael. I've known these two since I was 16, and they still make me laugh. She has not changed one bit, which is good. Her sense of humor is what I love about her. I was also blessed with friends calling to check on me to make sure I was ok because they knew it was a tough day. I've said it before and I will yell it again, my inner circle rocks like no other. They are good to me and hopefully, I am just as good to them.

I had started going to the doctor for tests as I couldn't figure out why I was so tired and listless. I love hanging with my peeps, but some days I literally had no energy after either meeting them for a meal or a shopping trip. Again, this is not me. After taking all the physical tests and them returning negative for anything, which is really a joy, I'm at least healthy body wise. I was referred to a shrink so she could see if perhaps another medicine might help Alana get her groove back. This kind woman asked me when these symptoms started and what has happened since then. I relayed everything and watching her face and comments made me realize, ok, it's not me being a brat or being stubborn, this really is fucked up. My friends all told me that, but you know, your friends are going to support you. But when a professional tells you these scenarios are not right, yeah, it made me feel better.

I have always been a self preservation type of person. I will strike first if I think you are going to hurt me. If you hurt me, I will recoil and disengage. After getting my new script and feeling like "me" again, I know that I cannot control others actions or decisions, I can only control how I deal with it or not deal with it. If you read this blog and it upsets you, I'm sorry. I will not, I can not, change how I feel just to save your feelings.  And no, I don't want to discuss that event any further.

 As they say "you do you boo!" That's what I'm doing.

All Things Thrilla...

I have several men friends that I have had for awhile now. My one friend G, likes to say it's going on 23 years, it may seem that long but in reality it's more like 8. I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or not?????? hmmmm, anyhoo, as I was saying.

I first met my beloved Keith when my friend's Mum was in an apt complex and we were at the pool. I have always dated, prior to recently, big, hulkish men. I consider myself a "big" girl so I don't want to feel like I'm going to break my dates. Thrilla is HUGE, I mean he's not tall HUGE, but muscle HUGE. So large in fact, people ask him if he wrestles or plays football. It's so cute how embarrassed he gets all the while loving it. For the record, he did play football and then an injury sidelined that dream. Lucky for us, not so for him, I guess.

Keith came strutting down to the pool, my friend and I were already there. I believe at this point she was already saying hi to one we call "Matthew aka Window Licker". He was always bringing some girl of the week back then. He had a bad break up and didn't want to get tied down, no worries dude, you are young, go for it. So Matthew and my friend are very, very chatty people. I like to stay close to my peeps unless I've had a few brews then I can be just as chatty. Keith was like me. He comes down quietly in his God awful UGA swimsuit, barf, and even that didn't deter us from getting to know him. He was sweet, quiet and once he got drinking would say stuff and we'd be looking at each like " wtf did he just say?" We tease Keith because he mumbles and his brother Ryan tells me, he has always done this and does it with the fam so I no longer feel it's just us. We used to say to him that it was a good thing he was pretty, bc sometimes the brain wasnt working. But we all have those moments, they call mine AlanaLand.

Like all my friends, Thrilla would be there for you when and if you needed him. No questions asked. He is kind, thoughtful, loving, sweet, hot, funny and sometimes a big dork. But he has a lot of kind hearted friends around him that he has known for years, that tells you something. Thrilla makes our vacays, our pool time, and our club time more funny and special. Love you for all you are and all you do Keith. Muah!

Sara, Saraaaaaa......(jefferson starship song)

When I first started thinking about what to say about my girl Sara, the first thing that came to mind was the song from "The Sound of Music" when the Holy Mother starts singing "How do you solve a problem like Maria." Sara is far from a problem, but she touches you that deeply.

The first time I met the Lady Sara was in an activities meeting that we both belonged to. Neither of us were officers then, but we represented our departments. She from Claims and me from Auto. I remember she was a little late, just a skoch, and she came in and took over the room. We all stopped to listen to her story about I can't remember what now, but I do remember laughing and thinking to myself, "I have to party with her." For the record, there are few people I say that about without knowing. That's how special Lady Sara is.

What makes her so special you ask? Let me count the ways:

She is thoughtful, tough, in charge and when she tells you something, you know you can lay your life on it.

She is committed, caring, sweet, and will do anything for her "Boo's".

She is a hard worker who puts in 110% everyday all day long.

She's a wonderful Mum to her two dogs, they are very lucky to have her. I won't say they are spoiled but......

Bottom line? Lady Sara is the kind of friend/person/sister everyone needs, but not everyone has the fortune to meet. I, however, was. I thank the stars every day for my sarcastic twin. Love you to the moon and back my love.

Head cold? No thanks, I have one.

I don't know anyone who is pleased when allergies hit and even though you take meds, a virus sneaks in and WHAM, if you're me, you have a head cold. What this entails is a slight headache and then each day it builds. Today is day 2 of the runny eyes, and the constant sneezing. I take Claritin but was suggested to add Sudafed to my regiment. Well, it made my nose breathe but I'm still having the runny eyes, and the nose and the lovely itchy inner ears. I'm one hot lady I tell you what. I have had no energy to do anything other than run to the store for my OJ and meds and cook dinner for my beloveds. Ugh...

I keep hoping the next day I will feel so much better. Earlier, I did. I thought woot! we have turned a corner on the head cold front, but alas, it was like a frenzied stalker, it came back even worse. Lucky me. The past few mornings I have almost drowned myself with my nasal rinse, that's always a good time. The cats look at me like "what the freak is wrong with you?".....Of course hag kitty just swishes her swiffer tail and walks away. Inside I hear her saying, "don't forget me in your will." Little does she know she will have to go live with my sons and their baby daddy. He has a dog. BAHAHAHAHAHAH....

Anyhoo, this time of year breeds head colds, allergy colds, bronchitis, upper respiratory infections and other delightful ailments. Least I'm not dying, or balding, or 600 pounds. That's my silver lining. Hope you all have a sick free day!

I LOVE

Since I've done a blog about what I hate, why not do one of what I love. Here goes:

1. My beloved sons.

2. My Mum and even though he is physically gone, my Dad.

3. PANDA'S, I know this comes as a shock to all of you, but they are so cute, with their wittle ears and fluffy butts.

4. I love my inner circle. They are trustworthy, loving, loyal and above all put up with me and my cray cray moods.

5. I love going out to hear live bands, always have. You cannot get that entertainment value anywhere else than at a bar/nightclub. The people who think they can dance. the ones who know they can't but have fun anyway, and then the drunk ones. Continuously good fodder for me and my peeps. I also like watching the girls who are trying so hard not to look like they are trying to hard.  (yes, I know I'm evil, we have discussed this)

6. I love my kitties, even the hag one who is trying to kill me, and my guinea pigs. They are so sweet and furry and just so happy to see you. My cats aren't normal cats. When I walk away they follow me. If I go to bed, they take me up and then go back downstairs in the warmer months. Winter months they are on me like an ant on a Cheetos.

7. I love my car Esme. Her sunroof makes me happy, even when it's frickin 80 out, she is open and the a/c is blowing. My sons think I'm an idiot, but hey, last I checked, I was paying for Esme, not them.

8. I absolutely LOVE the beach. Except for the Pacific, that shizz is cold even in the Summer months. I'm quite happy with my lovely Atlantic and all she offers, the Gulf is nice as well.

9. I love sarcasm, and having fun with people. Again, this may be a huge shock to some of you, but there you are, I've let the cat out of the bag.

10. And to round this list out, I LOVE SPARKLY THINGS. I know, I know, you wonder why I always have glittery eye liner or sparkly eye shadow, now you know. Case solved.

I love all of you who read my blog. If I can bring some humor to your day, that's what I really love.

Pool time is upon us!

Growing up in FL, I adored, loved, lived for the sun and the beach. I still do, but since my units moved us to TN and then I moved around with my baby daddy and he refused to go to FL bc it was and I quote "flat, hot and ugly" however, ask me where he goes to vacay now and where he wants to retire to, yup, you guessed it. Whatevs, still not taking you back.....

Anyhoo, since I'm without a local beach, I have beloved friends who invite me to the pool, or I use "my pool" which is an apartment pool that I met all my pool buddies at years ago. "Buford Shore" guys, who now go by "Suwanee Shore" guys. Same mens, but different women and older, wiser loves.  Growing up can be positive, it's when you start looking aged that there is a problem, at least with me. But not everyone has my "issues".

So for the past few weeks, I have been able to hit my girl Michelle's pool, hers is a family pool where her house is. Then there is Matthew's pool, his is an apartment pool, but a mix of adults, kids, and young 20's. It's a nice variety. Matthew's girl has 3 adorable tots 2, 5 and 7, and they are so polite and so mannered, its a pleasure to be around them. I especially love the 2 yr old, cutest 2 yr old I know. He reminds me very much of my beloved #2. Just a tank, walks around like he owns the place, he's got his "swimmies" on and don't mess with him. And God forbid, do not put his watermelon on a plate. Silly me. lol...Spending time with them and Michelle's grand babies makes me long for another baby, and no not as in grandmother, since the doctor said I had the eggs of a 20 year old, why not, right? I can do sperm donor, then I won't have baby daddy drama. :)

So whatever you all do, for late Spring and Summer to enjoy your weekends, I hope it's just as pleasurable for you as my pooling is for me. Till I blog again, kisses and hugs...

Why I Blog

For those of you who don't know, I blog as a way of ridding myself of anger, frustration, hurt, and cleansing. I'm typically the type of person who keeps things inside and my outlet used to be cleaning, but when friends suggested blogging a few years ago, this has been very beneficial to me. It's also helpful for my inner circle when I don't share how my true feelings are, they find out here. And thankfully, none of them sit there and judge me, which is why they are in my inner circle. I'm always sad and feel like a death has occurred when I lose an inner circle person.

Even when they jack me over, after the anger subsides, the hurt ensues. When someone in my inner circle hurts me, it's quite painful because those in the inner circle, are trusted and given all kinds of insight that is me. Now, some of you may think that's arrogant and preposterous, but I can tell you, before you know me, I am a tough puzzle to crack and once you are allowed inside the barrier, I consider you there for life. Again, until you F*ck me over then you die, maybe not for real, but in my eyes, you are dead to me. This is just how I cope when someone hurts me, I need to think they are dead, so that I can let the pain go. One person asked me how he could get on the "dead list", I replied "say the word, and you will be there." His reply was "No, I want to die so I can come back." As I looked at this dork, I told him "There is no coming back from the dead. Once you are there, you stay. And if that's truly what you want, again, say the word." This person would rather not say anything though then have an adult conversation with you. And that's fine, different people cope and deal with things in different manners. I for one, want it out there. Others, like him, would rather you drift away so that if he changes his mind, he can come back without you saying "I thought you were done." Even with therapy, some people cannot change their behavior or how they manage relationships. I am not here to judge or condemn any of my friends. All I ever want is for my peeps to know they are loved and appreciated when they are in my world.

Dear....

Dear Self,

Enough of this pity party you have invited yourself to. Get off the couch, get out of bed, get your arse to work and become one with the population again. Stop thinking of 'what if's' and do what you CAN do, and that's control your behavior. You cannot control anyone else's attitudes, or how they deal with others, you do you Boo.

So you did a few stupid things, who hasn't? But the real feat is learning from said mistakes and not repeating them like a frickin idiot. If you were your friend, you would have already beat the living hell out of yourself for the things you did because sane you knows how retarded it is. And if it's one thing we cannot stand, is stupidity in people we care about.

Now, tomorrow you are going to wake up and jump your chubby arse out of bed and greet the morning with a huge HELLO because you have lived another day with your sons, your Mum, and your fabulous friends. Why they haven't pile drived you to the floor or drowned you in the pool, is beyond me. Seriously! SNAP OUT OF IT!

Your loving normal self,

Alana

Stupid things I regret.....

Have you ever had one of those relationships, that no matter what your normal thoughts are, you lose your head when it comes to them? Good, so I'm not alone then. In the past when I was done with someone, I was D O N E, no second guessing, no returning calls or texts or emails, just bah bye for you now. However, in the last 18 months, I have  had this toxicity that no matter how bad I view the treatment to me, much to my friends chagrin, I continue to have a relationship with this person. I recently stooped to an all new low. I texted him and told him I was stopping by to speak with him. HAVE I GONE MAD? I'm going with too many unanswered texts, a few too many brews and good times around a pool with my peeps, and I lost my senses. Did he answer the door you ask, no he did not.

When I woke up this morning I prayed I had dreamt that whole scenario, but alas, I did not. I did however, delete all the texts we have shared and next I will delete his phone number. I have this weird rule that if I haven't spoken with you in 6 months, I delete you as a contact. This part may be long overdue for him, but if I feel ready to do before 6 months, I will. I beat myself up pretty good about this transgression and as always my "inner circle" was super supportive. They almost made me feel like I wasn't a lunatic or a stalker. But I can promise this is one stupid regret that will never get repeated, LIKE EVER! .......Cue Taylor Swift's song "We are never".

Happy Monday Peeps, and remember if you've done something out of character, see why, I'm sure it's not you, it's all them. :)