Tis The Season....

To be loaded.....just kidding or am I? I know this time of year may make some of us partake a little more in the adult beverages but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I mean I know in the past I needed wine or many beers to deal with certain family members or people without having 911 called. Anyone else feel like that?


Another thing with this time of year is depression is higher and along with that is suicidal thought increase. Thankfully, I've dealt with being depressed but not around this time of year and no suicidal thoughts ever crossed my mind in the November-January months. But if you don't have a family or any family around you, or you feel really alone, your mind may wander to "ending it all" and I completely understand that rationale. To those of you who have never battled depression I know you are reading this thinking I'm clearly off my rocker and sometimes I am, but not on this subject. I always ask my single friends over to spend the holidays with me and my sons and now my precious Frenchie Gigi. (meep) One of these days I need to insert her picture so you all get just how flippin adorable she and her boyfriend Stitch are. Until then, Google French Bulldogs and those that are tan with white markings is what she looks like and he has the tan and black colors like a Pug, only he's way more cuter. But I could be a tad biased, one never knows. :)


This time of year is also where people look inward and do their self reflections of "What have I accomplished this year"? or "Where am I going"? Both are interesting and looming questions but you have to be careful with this. If you are not in your healthy state of mind, this could lead you down a lonely, self destructive path, and we don't want that. I really do try and stay positive and I thank the universe daily, for all I have and all I still want to happen or materialize. As long as you feel in your "gut" that you are on the right trail for you and your life, keep doing it. Remember, YOU CREATE YOUR OWN LIFE. Yes, other people are factors, however, your destiny and your decision are yours and yours alone. If you don't like your job, try to find another that makes you happy. If you don't like your marriage or relationship, do both of you a favor and get the hell out. Trust me, it does make a difference. And please, please, don't be the person that stays for the kids, bc I can tell you as a kid who heard that, we feel the dissension, unhappiness, bitterness etc. You aren't doing yourself or the kids any favors. I know that's why I chose to end my marriage. I wasn't going to be 60 years old and completely miserable in my life. If you are discontented, it does trickle down. Something to ponder folks.


So I leave you with this. When you are out shopping, talking, walking the dogs, smile at someone you meet. It does make a difference and you never know, it could save their life as well as your own.


Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday's, Happy Chanukah, and Happy Kwanza. Until we meet again, Kiss Kiss, Hug Hug.

Being Thankful....

Almost everyone is thankful for something around this time of year. I am thankful for everything I have and manifestations I want all year round. I love the  Thanksgiving season. One reason is my birthday is only a few days from it depending on the year,  either before or after and every 7 years on it. Those are my favorite ones because if I don't want to cook, I don't have to. I usually do unless a friend is kind enough to invite me and my beloved's over. Now that my son's are 19 and 23, I am sure they will start participating in the prepping of this holiday as both enjoy cooking too.


This year I have so many wonderful things to be grateful for. First and foremost are my beloved son's. Both were well planned bundles of joy. And I prayed every day to be graced with both pregnancies. I loved being pregnant and even being gutted like a fish, to give them life. (they LOVE when I say that, oh by the way)....2016 brought another year with my sweet, loving, giving, affectionate French Bulldog Gigi and even more nanny time with my sweet baby boy Frenchie, Stitch. That breed really is the cutest of breeds and everyone loves them. When I take them out or even just Gigi, people run over to them, or coo, just like when you see babies. That's the power this breed has on people. I was blessed with meeting new friends, growing deeper attachments to current friends and some friends just bowed out gracefully. All have been good for both of us, I'm sure.


Since I got divorced, I try to be the friend who contacts others and makes sure they are ok, or reach out to try and have quality time with them. I've noticed that when I pull back from initiating meet ups, some just fall away. And that's ok. People have new friends, new relationships, jobs etc, to cultivate and take care of. I'm ok with just backing away and letting them go. If they want to hang out, they know how to reach me. :)


I am thrilled to celebrate Thanksgiving with my my sons, the two 'bullies' and three girlfriends this year. I have pulled out the Spode china and glassware, went shopping for the menu and of course, jug of wine and the pumpkin pie. DVD's will be brought into the living room for viewing if others would like to watch. I have all the Christmas staples: Elf, Christmas Vacation, The Ref, The Grinch cartoon and live action, naturally, I have the Alistar Sims's version of The Christmas Carol, my personal fave,  The Holiday, Love Actually, purr Hugh and Colin, and we also have The Christmas Story and Scrooged as well. I am looking forward to some sarcasm and laughs and chocolate and candy and of course wine, did I say that already? LOL


So CHEERS! To you all and I hope you have a very happy Thanksgiving and for heaven's sake, be safe if you venture out and shop with the Black Friday people. Oy!


Kiss Kiss Hug Hug, until we blog again.

Delusion or Positive Thinking...that is the question

When do you get to the point of asking yourself,  "Am I being delusional, or is it just taking longer?" Say you have an image of what your life should be and you put that positive thought out in the universe daily, maybe even several times a day, and it hasn't happened yet. When is it time to refocus your image? Obviously, it takes longer than a day, week or even a month, but if it's been a year or 2 years, should you give up?


I was rereading "The Secret" and there was a passage about how some people are so close to their manifestation but they have doubt because it was taking so long and the universe said "OK, you don't want it." And it never came to fruition. Anytime I have a doubt I throw it right out with a positive reply. (yes, I do talk to myself and we have lovely conversations, thank you)


If my feeling of an outcome is strong, I refuse to give it up but again I come back to "Am I delusional?" Of course my bestie Holly, would never say "yes, you are a total nut job, let it go" but it does make me wonder. Now her husband on the other hand, thinks I am completely bonkers, but he just doesn't appreciate the wonder and amazement that is me. LOL. At least that's my take. :)


In closing I just want to say this to you all. If you have a dream about your future, and you feel strongly about this outcome, never give up. Just make sure this manifestation you are creating isn't anything harmful to you or another. That is totally bad Karma and I wholeheartedly believe in Karma. Thus why I may complain about idiot co workers, I do say prayers for them nightly. I don't wish them harm, I just want them to mind their own biznass and focus on work, is that asking too much? Apparently, it is. But not everyone was raised with work ethic or a conscience. I was lucky enough to have been.


Hope all of you have a Happy Halloween and lovely rest of your fall. Till we meet again, hug hug, kiss kiss. Muah....

Idiots Are Everywhere

Ok, that may seem harsh, but who among us has never had interactions with them? Like ever? Exactly, no one. Even the Pope and the Dalai Lama have idiots around them. Oy!


I remember when common sense was a given not a luxury. What happened? What bred all these dumbarses? I have two beloved sons and they are 18 & 23. They have brains, common sense, initiative, and morals. Why don't the people I come in contact with? I'm not just saying young people. I'm talking about old as yo momma and young as my kids.


It really bewilders me when co workers come and ask me a question, that WE ALL SHOULD KNOW and ask it as if it was brand new to them. I know my face has a total look of "are you f*cking kidding me" on it. Because that's what I'm usually thinking as they ask it. They start it off and I start thinking "ohhhh nooo, I know where this is going. You CANNOT be serious" and alas they are. Maybe it's because as you age we all hear about losing memory's or forgetting things but come on, if this is part of your day to day job, I think a person could recall that without asking.


Look, I have my numerous shares of "blonde moments" but half the time I either didn't hear it correctly or I wasn't thinking along those lines. I completely admit to being very naïve even though I can be a hardened beyotch. But this is a whole other world of stupid. This is "how do you drive yourself home" stupid questions.


No other place like traffic to make you believe we are all doomed on this Earth. I have lived in many different states and it doesn't matter where I drive, traffic has it's shares of Forrest Gump drivers. My one friend had to commute on 3 different freeways and how she didn't kill herself or another is beyond me. Her favorite phrase was "these people are too stupid to live". Amen Missy, A to the Men. :)


In closing, people are getting more dumb with every passing day. It's either in the water, the drugs, the air or someone is injecting dumbarse fluid while they sleep. But I do try to stay positive, work is very difficult to stay in that zone, however, I  take deep breaths, look at my picture of my Dad, my first dog Tammy and me in our first house in FL and think, it's going to be ok. I will be ok. And remember Alana, you would not do well in prison, there are no tiara's. Gasp! The horror!


Until we meet again, hug hug kiss kiss and most of all thank you for reading.

Musings

Since we are all individual and unique, I know each of us has a different way with dealing with either strife, or confrontation. I personally try not to deal with either but things do happen on this crazy road we call Life. As I've gotten older if I feel someone has disrespected me, or lied to me I will avoid them and it doesn't make a difference if they are family, co worker or friend. I would just rather fade away and not look back. This is where I get called "heartless". I'm sorry, if family mistreats you, they are no different than a person you call a friend, other than sharing DNA. Just because they are family that's not an automatic "pass" to be a hag. Not in my world.

Back in my younger days, and sometimes if I get really pissed off I still may flip, but I wouldn't think twice about ripping someone and that was before we had cell phones. (yes, I'm that old, I told you I was 900). I have a quick temper on some things, and recently someone told me that I needed to 'think about things, let it process before I respond'. To which I replied "Go fuck yourself", but he had a point. And since that helpful tidbit, I have tried to put the phone down and think about what I want to reply with before I snap and just spew. I have also learned through the years, that I don't name call when I'm angry. I still name call but now it's in fun. I  do not pull crap from the past and throw it at someone. We all make mistakes and each day is a new opportunity to change your behavior or help another instead of hurt one another.

I do not go out of my way to annoy someone or start a fight. However, if you pick one and I feel strongly about the subject, I will retaliate with comments. I don't like being angry with someone, and I loathe being hurt or treated like crap. I am one of those people that if I value you and our relationship and I feel a change in attitude I will confront you and inquire as to what I did or what has happened. If you choose not to discuss it, I will walk away. If you don't want to be in my life, that is your business and I will not beg you to be. No hard feelings.

I like to think I'm a caring, trusted, fun, responsible friend, but I know I have flaws. If you want to share those with me, go ahead. I'm not that spoiled that if you should try I'm going to take my toys and play elsewhere. I am a grown arse woman, I can handle it. I promise, I will not dissolve like sugar in the rain. Trust me on this.

Bottom line is this, as I have stated many times before, Life is Short, Life can be Hard, but you know what buttercup? so are we. If you just try to be the best YOU that YOU can be, no one can fault you and if they do, again, that's their business and their own issue.

Until we speak again, hug hug, kiss kiss.

Feelings...(you immediately start singing the song, I know!)

For as long as I can remember hiding feelings was just who I was. As you age and go through break ups with friends, boyfriends, lovers, family etc, you get more adept at keeping what really bothers you to yourself. Unless you are like me after a few cocktails and then you spew your heart. However, I've only done that if I still cared about the person.


When I was younger and dated I was always told I was a "cold" person. My ex huzband actually coded his house phone to say "The Refrigerator is calling ". Yeah, it's called self preservation. And I admit I am still one of those I will hurt you before you hurt me types. I was having a deep convo with my BFF Holly and relating some comments and she replied, ever so gently because that's how she approaches it, that when I get burned by someone that I still have in my life, when they may be actually genuine, I won't see it as that and think they have an ulterior motive. That would be the cynical side of me. I have over the years, tried not to be that way, but let's face it, sometimes if something or someone seems to good to be true, 9 times out of 10, it's a hoax.


The reason I don't have people in my life who have hurt, betrayed, lied to me is if I can't trust you, I don't want you around. I'm not going to spend my life second guessing you. Life is too short and that's not how I want to exist. I do have a couple of people still in my life that have hurt me, but I keep them at arms length and until I'm finally done, nothing anyone says will get through. I may be a little hard headed or stubborn that way, your call. :)


In the end, feeling emotions, (bleck) is what makes us human. I think in some instances there is nothing wrong with being more robot like to protect yourself but just make sure you do that with people that have wronged you first, give new people a shot. I don't mean lay down and let them rub your belly, but ease into your coldness.


As always, hug hug, kiss kiss and be nice to someone today, it will make you feel good.

My baby beloved is graduating....

And I'm a hot mess, but at least I'm hot right? But seriously, when my oldest son had his last play in high school, it was no big deal. He was fantastic, as always, but it didn't bother me. Same when he graduated. I mean yes, I did tear up, but it wasn't an emotional time for me leading up to his walk. But this go around, when Spencer had his last play, I was crying and couldn't even speak to him after the show. I hugged him and walked quickly to my car. It was awful. The whole walk I was talking to myself and almost annoyed with myself that I was showing this kind of emotion in public. I mean I do have standards people.


This past week I have friends whose kids are also graduating and every time I see their pictures I continue to dread my own ceremony tomorrow. People from work have asked about it and just them inquiring  makes my eyes well up. It's so stupid and unlike me. But I think it's because he is the baby and he is a much younger soul than my oldest. Skyler is a lot like me. He hides his pain and just says "he's fine". I know that, but Spencer doesn't hide it and he is so sweet, gentle, kind, giving and thoughtful, that I worry what this world will do to him. He's had his first love and heartbreak and he handled that fairly well. I mean let's be honest, getting your heartbroken is never easy to get over. But releasing him to the wild, worry some world is scary for me. I want him to get out and experience everything but I don't want him to get hurt. Obviously, there is nothing I can do about it but just be there to guide, educate or support him in whatever he does. That's what being a parent is about, at least for me.


I'm sure once he walks and gets his fake degree at the ceremony, I will be teary but then it will be over. It will be just another memory for him and me. But I could not be more prouder of both my sons. They have  turned out to be very giving, thoughtful, kind, charitable young men. Their Dad and I may not agree on pretty much anything, but we did do that right. So march on my 18 year old baby beloved. You got this!


Hugs and kisses to all of you and please be safe this holiday weekend. Muah!

Happy Birthday Candace!

Typically, when a friend has a birthday coming up I like to dedicate a blog entry just for them. Sort of like my cheapo birthday present, but filled with love, humor and always a good time. This will be no exception.


I first met Candace around 4 years ago I believe. As with a lot of us, I met her through another good friend and now Candace and I are best pals. She is about to turn the big 4-0, and doing so still makes her the baby of our group. She is super smart, hard working, dedicated to her kids and family and she's a pretty good friend too, just don't expect her to reply with haste to your texts. I wish I could say I was kidding, but alas, if I were drowning she would not be the person I texted for help. :) But if I wanted shots, she is most definitely the friend I need around.


Candace is married to an awesome guy we all love, Kenny, and not only does he have a full time job where he gets to work earlier than I do, that's 6am kids, but he plays amazing drums in at least 5 bands and then he will run sound for other bands around out lovely area. I call him the hardest working man in showbiz. Both of them are very caring and giving people and both of them make me laugh out loud, and if you know me, I'm loud. You always know when I am in the building, but I come by it honestly, both my parents are loud laughers too. Anyhoo, this isn't about me though.


So let's see, I've covered how we met, what a great person she is etc, what else? Oh I know, we are all very fierce Mum's and Dad's if anyone crosses our path or our kids, but Candace, who is the quiet, soft spoken one in our group, will cut a mutha effing b*tch if you mess, look at wrong, or harm any of her beloved children. In no way, shape or form, am I joking. I have seen it, it was scary too. You really do have to watch the quiet types. All that pent up niceness will just explode one day and dayum, you just got served, Candace style.


I wish nothing but great memories, fantastic health and wonderful years on my girl Candace. She truly is one of a kind and we are all better people for having her in our lives.


Kiss kiss, hug hug Candace, I love you to the moon and back. Happy Birthday!!!!

Death of an Icon

When you lose a celebrity, that you didn't know personally, I know we all feel bad for the family and the talent that has left us for a higher place. But when I heard about Prince passing, it felt like I lost a person, a friend that was trusted that has been there in my life for many years.


I first learned of the greatness that was Prince, in 1978 with the song "I wanna be your lover", oh how I loved that tune and would play it constantly. My father's dance studio also had the record because turns out it was quite danceable even in ballroom format. A nice swing if you will. Since this was pre-video days and internet, I had to rush out to see what this angel looked like. I was not disappointed. He was a beautiful looking man with a sexy bad boy glint in his eye. I was hooked. Sounds good and looks good? Sold!


Then when I got into a college, my dorm mate had a huge poster of Prince on her wall. It was him in the shower and it was brilliant! I remember walking into her room and just standing there in a trance. All his music rushed back and I felt like he was there with us in that room. Obviously, this was not the case, but you get my drift. Prince was all over Atlanta in the early 80's and he would come to venues and bring other talented folks like The Time and Appolonia it was just a great time to be a young adult. Other musicians who have passed this year like Bowie and Glenn Frey they were around earlier than I recall and I considered them another generation of music back then, but Prince was my generation much like MJ. I feel like Prince and I went through these last years together on the journey we call life with it's ups and downs but we were still having fun and doing our thing. Prince was a few years older than me, but his loss feels greater to me because he was there when I was young and he's always been there, for all of us Im sure, until yesterday. April 21, 2016 was the day the world lost an icon, a legend, a peacemaker, a man who made us think, who showed us where love is and how to sprinkle love, kindness, good thoughts and how to strive to be better people as a whole.
He will always be missed by the masses, but thankfully, we will always have his music. May we never forget the messages he wove so well in his many amazing soungs. Rest in Peace Prince Rogers Nelson.

This time of year....

Since today is St Patty's Day, I decided to type in green to be festive, cause I'm fun like that.


We are coming up on the 4 year anniversary of my Dad's passing. And to be honest, thankfully this past year was considerably easier than the first two. I still have good days and bad days, but for the most part, more good than bad. I know Dad is with me and we talk, again, because I'm fun like that. He had the best hearty laugh when something was really funny, which usually involved someone at the dinner table having a complete and total blonde moment. (I tear from typing this, but good tears)


My Dad was surrounded by females. I have a female sibling and all our pets were females, until we got his beloved Shep. But that was many years into all of us being there. I will have to do a blog solely on my Dad's love of his beloved dogs over the years. My Dad used to say that "it takes a real man to create a daughter". He was amazing that way. He never acted like he wanted boys, well with me. I was suppose to be the girl, and like a good girl, I listened. My sibling was supposed to be a boy so much so that they didn't even have a girls name picked out. She was named after the current hurricane that was blowing through south Florida. hahahahah. She was a whirlwind as a child too. But again, that's not this blog.


When I got pregnant is when my Dad expressed his interest in having a grandson. His comment was "I have two daughters, I don't need anymore girls". Again, I listen and complied. He got not one but two grandsons, you are freaking welcome Father. :)...but I always wanted boys too so it was a win win.


As I have shared before, my Dad went in for surgery in February and passed in April. But apparently, on this day 4 years ago, he told my sibling that "he just couldn't do this anymore". So this day is harder for her and I believe my Mum, but since I wasn't given this information until after he passed, it doesn't faze me as much as Easter. Four years ago Easter he passed away that Tuesday after. That holiday is more poignant to me than the Irish holiday is. And while it's been 4 years ago, some days seems like yesterday others seems like a lifetime ago. I guess because the people that surrounded me then aren't all the people surrounding me now. And that's ok.


Things change, people change, circumstances change and if we are smart and open, we change too. Hopefully for the good, but all any of us can ever do is our best. What's best for you, for your job, for your kids, pets and friends. As long as you are trying to be the best person, and doing things to help yourself or a friend in need, you can't go wrong. Just remember that. Take care of you and the rest falls into line.


Until we meet again, kiss kiss hug hug. And may all of you have a safe St Patrick's Day!

Forgive me Father for I have sinned....but then again, he knows that.

Happy March kids! With the arrival of this month we all know that means Spring is just around the corner, and then Easter. Who doesn't love the Easter Bunny? (yes, he is real, shut up)


In my lovely town in Georgia we had tee shirt weather yesterday and today I had to use my butt warmers in the car on my way to my job. It was very hard not to just keep hitting snooze and cuddle with my sweet puppy Gigi. This little lamb turned the big 1 on February 20, 2016. She had a small party of just family and her friend Stitch. And when I say family it was me and her Grammie because her human brothers thought it was too stupid to attend a birthday party for a dog. I really thought I had raised them better than that, but alas, they are adults now, I can only do so much.


As the warmer weather teases us it gets me excited for planting some vegetables in my garden, and putting mulch down on the lawn and planting a flower or two. Spring really is about new beginnings and a new promise to what we can do with our lives. All changes, for the most part, are up to us. I know sometimes things may seem out of our control, but you have to realize you are the only one in control of your life. If you aren't happy with someone, a situation, your job, your living area, it is solely up to you to make those alterations.


As I watch my beloved of a puppy grow and try to do sneaky things, like fake she went outside to do her business, it shows that even though things may seem the same, at the same time they change.


Look at your circle of friends last year and how many are still with you today? Did you have people you weren't talking to or fell out of touch with last year, that are prominent in your life now? I know my answer is yes. I have old friends that I see more now this year and I have others that have left my life, that were in it last year at this time. I know we have all seen that poster about people being in your lives for a reason, season or whatever the other rhyming word is, and to some degree it's accurate. Sometimes when people do come back into your life, that you were really missing, you wonder, should I let them go? Meaning things are as easy as last time or they may not truly want to be in your life, but they will allow you to do things for them. That's always so kind of them, right?


As I end today, I hope this made you think about things you were already pondering and wondering if you should make a change. If your change doesn't harm another and only brightens you and your outlook, then baby, what are you waiting for? Life is short, get out there and make your dreams happen. Only you can!


Hug hug, kiss kiss.

Valentine's Day (this year Black Sunday)

As I've gotten older I have really come to loathe this day, and it's not for the reason you might think. I don't need ONE specific day to tell a special someone how much I love them. That needs to be done every day. I hate how we all buy into the hype of flowers, dinners, gifts, surprises etc. Now chocolate should be consumed daily, not just on February 14th. I mean come on, what are we cavemen?


Back in the day, I showered by boyfriends, or husband with gifts. I did special things, like post in the paper how much I loved him, or planned getaways. So I'm not immune in showing my love for someone. Once I got divorced my two beloveds became by Valentine's. Even when I had boyfriends, my two sons were #1 in my heart that day, well everyday.


Now they would look at me and roll their beautiful blue eyes at me, but that's a whole different blog. Beloved #2 has a girlfriend this year, so I'm sure he will do someone really fresh and sweet. He's that guy. He's the sweet sappy love muffin some of you dream about. I say some of you, because sometimes someone that sicky sweet makes me want to hurl. :)


As you can see this blog is quite short in comparison to most of my entries. I guess that's because this particular subject makes me violently ill. lol..


This year I will have my adorable puppy Gigi to shower with Valentine gifts. No chocolate of course, but she will get yet another new toy and absolutely the cutest little tee shirt or sweater to wear. I'm not totally heartless, just don't have much of a heart left.


Hugs and non Valentine kisses to you all. And if you choose to celebrate that dreadful day, do it! Go big, you never know if it will be your last one.