My baby beloved is graduating....

And I'm a hot mess, but at least I'm hot right? But seriously, when my oldest son had his last play in high school, it was no big deal. He was fantastic, as always, but it didn't bother me. Same when he graduated. I mean yes, I did tear up, but it wasn't an emotional time for me leading up to his walk. But this go around, when Spencer had his last play, I was crying and couldn't even speak to him after the show. I hugged him and walked quickly to my car. It was awful. The whole walk I was talking to myself and almost annoyed with myself that I was showing this kind of emotion in public. I mean I do have standards people.


This past week I have friends whose kids are also graduating and every time I see their pictures I continue to dread my own ceremony tomorrow. People from work have asked about it and just them inquiring  makes my eyes well up. It's so stupid and unlike me. But I think it's because he is the baby and he is a much younger soul than my oldest. Skyler is a lot like me. He hides his pain and just says "he's fine". I know that, but Spencer doesn't hide it and he is so sweet, gentle, kind, giving and thoughtful, that I worry what this world will do to him. He's had his first love and heartbreak and he handled that fairly well. I mean let's be honest, getting your heartbroken is never easy to get over. But releasing him to the wild, worry some world is scary for me. I want him to get out and experience everything but I don't want him to get hurt. Obviously, there is nothing I can do about it but just be there to guide, educate or support him in whatever he does. That's what being a parent is about, at least for me.


I'm sure once he walks and gets his fake degree at the ceremony, I will be teary but then it will be over. It will be just another memory for him and me. But I could not be more prouder of both my sons. They have  turned out to be very giving, thoughtful, kind, charitable young men. Their Dad and I may not agree on pretty much anything, but we did do that right. So march on my 18 year old baby beloved. You got this!


Hugs and kisses to all of you and please be safe this holiday weekend. Muah!