Zingers My Kids Throw (So proud)

If you have kids, you know the amount of sarcasm they can attain if you and or several of your family are sarcastic, witty people. When I was growing up if you didn't throw one back you were bait. So over the years of having my boys, who are now 24 and 19, they are quite the amusing couple together. I thought I would compile a list of some personal bests, if you will.


1.  My oldest son hasn't purchased a Mother's Day gift in years. If he doesn't say his brother's gift is his what I get is this "You don't need a gift, you have me." Oh touché my love. I don't think that would work at Cmas time but I feel you.


2. I like to tell them both how I was gutted like a fish to give them life. In later years they have come back with facial expressions that I find hilarious, and now have added comments like "we didn't ask to be gutted" or "you brought us here". The youngest one Spencer usually will add "Mom please, can you not?" hahahahh more fuel for my story fire.


3. I had a recent convo about them socializing more and getting out and dating. Since the oldest, Skyler, just turned 24 I said "when I was your age I was engaged to your Dad for 5 years" and Spencer pipes up, "Wow, and you two are still going strong aren't ya? How'd that turn out for you again Mom?" We divorced 18 years ago, so at this point I just gave my "f*ck you" stare.


4. I was dating this guy and after they got over laughing at me they started in with the following: "Is his name Edward and does he tan by the moon?" "I can't believe you are dating a vampire, does he drink your blood?" "Does this make you a groupie?" and my personal fave, "Does he sing to you when you are alone?" Dude is very pale and sings.


Leave it to the children I gave birth to, and raised to call a sista out. I mean dayum. They are brutal sometimes but all jokes really are done in fun. And in my family, that's how we rolled. My Dad did it to me, and I do it to my friends and peeps and now they do it as well. The Circle of Life people.


Hope all have a very humorous weekend and remember to enjoy the moment, it may be your last!

Drunk Texting....Ugh

Is this EVER a good idea? I mean, good lord. I had done really well for about a year, and then I went and celebrated National Margarita Day last night and had a margarita and that went out the window. There is a reason I don't do liquor. I'm ok if I don't have any thoughts brewing in my head, (a recent convo with someone, or a comment that was made that stuck in my claw) but if I have kept the offense to myself and have a cocktail, all bets are off kids.


I am mindful not to call names or anything like that, but I was told that I like to "poke the bear" which loosely translates to one person as, calling them out. I don't let people get away with a behavior or their ego. I will bring you back down to reality if you start thinking you are too good for things or that you are better than a situation. Not in a mean way but just in my normal sarcastic tone.


I see posts on Facebook where people talk about putting an app on their phone so they have to give a password or enter a puzzle before they are allowed to submit a text. I highly believe that's a fantastic idea. I'm sure it would save tons of embarrassment, hurt feelings, or fights.


In closing I leave you with this. Drunk texting is bad, hiding your phone when you have been drinking, is good. Or giving your phone to a friend so you won't tempt yourself to "maybe send a little note". ABORT ABORT!!!!


As always, thanks for reading and kiss kiss hug hug. And tell someone you like something about them today. Stranger or friend, it will make their day, I guarantee it. :)