Shopping with significant others...

In the last few weeks, I have heard my girls complain about shopping with their significant others. Even when I have one, I know better than to go shopping with them. I shop with friends. Friends don't ask "do you really need that?" or "I don't think so and so would want that." They have either had a man act like a petulant child, meaning he was either riding in the basket, aka Matthew, or taking selfie's of himself sitting in a chair or laying among toilet paper. Oy! Who needs that? If I wanted to shop with a child, I would borrow Michelle's grandbabies. At least they have an excuse for their behavior.

Another friend told me how her experience was not so much that attitude, but her trying to buy for others and he's trying on clothes for himself. Ummm, do that on your own time buddy. At this time of year, if you are shopping together, genuinely it's for a present, and not for your arse. I told her I would have left him and continued along my path. He has a cell phone, he knows how to call or text when he notices you are gone. If he is posing in the mirror, he doesn't even notice you have left.

I told all my guys, your purpose when shopping with your woman is this: Push the cart, or carry the items, help take them to the car, no pouting, no bitching and if need be, slap some duct tape on their mouths. You could try the trick I used to do to my beloved's when they were little and get out of hand. Get real close to their face and pinch their arm and say really quietly, "if you don't sit down, shut up and act right, I will kill you when we get to the car!" This always changed their attitudes. My kids are smart like that, they know they can push but when Momma breaks to death threats, and gives you the grandma Korol look, you know you better fly right or you're going home in the trunk, if you're lucky.

In closing, remember peeps, the escapade of shopping is for pleasure, do not make this a chore for your lady. 9 times out of 10, she is shopping for people on your list and doing you a favor, so appreciate her taking time out of her bizzy schedule to get things for you and your annoying family or friends, and shut the fuck up!

Kisses to all.....