Done, Finished, Peace Out Cub Scout...

One thing I have realized in my 900+ years roaming this earth, yes I am a dinosaur. Once I'm done with you, the situation, the job, the family etc, I AM DONE. Meaning, I wish you no ill will, I just no longer do anything for you, I no longer care anything about you, I no longer try to be nice to you, I DO NOTHING FOR YOU, well, unless you want to pay me, then the money ho kicks in and I will. But now it's a complete business transaction and if you fell off the face of the earth, I will not ask why or let my insecurities lead me to a path of  "did something happen" because I won't care enough to get there. 


I will put up with a lot when I care about you, but once I feel you have been knowingly disrespectful, or hateful or lied about me, I first get so pissed off that if you were standing in front of me I would beat your arse and then I wake up the next day with a calm that you are no longer worthy of my time, of my presence or of my thoughts. You can just fade away never to be heard from again and I won't even think twice about it.


Here's the thing with people in our lives, they all have a reason to be there but for how long is determined by us. Believe you me, I have been kicked to the curb through out the years, but I've also been the kicker. This is why I have a hard time trusting anyone initially. Some have slipped past my radar but once I see you for your true self, I may hangout but never open up again. And I am not the type to listen to chatter, I judge you by how you treat me, however if you run your mouth about others, I know it can happen to me. And I'm not talking about you sharing events that happened between you and another I'm referring to you just saying unpleasant things about a "friend". Puhlease, I don't need "friends" like that in my life. I can talk shiz about myself, I don't need your help.


In closing, I leave you with this. Life really is too short, some have shorter than others, so be kind, be thoughtful, be true. At least when you leave this life you can go knowing you did the best you could with being a good person, an honest person and then hopefully, karma won't bite you in the arse in your next life, if you get so lucky.


Kiss Kiss Hug Hug, and as always, thank you for reading. Now go out and have a positive filled day. :)

Tis The Season....

To be loaded.....just kidding or am I? I know this time of year may make some of us partake a little more in the adult beverages but that's not necessarily a bad thing. I mean I know in the past I needed wine or many beers to deal with certain family members or people without having 911 called. Anyone else feel like that?


Another thing with this time of year is depression is higher and along with that is suicidal thought increase. Thankfully, I've dealt with being depressed but not around this time of year and no suicidal thoughts ever crossed my mind in the November-January months. But if you don't have a family or any family around you, or you feel really alone, your mind may wander to "ending it all" and I completely understand that rationale. To those of you who have never battled depression I know you are reading this thinking I'm clearly off my rocker and sometimes I am, but not on this subject. I always ask my single friends over to spend the holidays with me and my sons and now my precious Frenchie Gigi. (meep) One of these days I need to insert her picture so you all get just how flippin adorable she and her boyfriend Stitch are. Until then, Google French Bulldogs and those that are tan with white markings is what she looks like and he has the tan and black colors like a Pug, only he's way more cuter. But I could be a tad biased, one never knows. :)


This time of year is also where people look inward and do their self reflections of "What have I accomplished this year"? or "Where am I going"? Both are interesting and looming questions but you have to be careful with this. If you are not in your healthy state of mind, this could lead you down a lonely, self destructive path, and we don't want that. I really do try and stay positive and I thank the universe daily, for all I have and all I still want to happen or materialize. As long as you feel in your "gut" that you are on the right trail for you and your life, keep doing it. Remember, YOU CREATE YOUR OWN LIFE. Yes, other people are factors, however, your destiny and your decision are yours and yours alone. If you don't like your job, try to find another that makes you happy. If you don't like your marriage or relationship, do both of you a favor and get the hell out. Trust me, it does make a difference. And please, please, don't be the person that stays for the kids, bc I can tell you as a kid who heard that, we feel the dissension, unhappiness, bitterness etc. You aren't doing yourself or the kids any favors. I know that's why I chose to end my marriage. I wasn't going to be 60 years old and completely miserable in my life. If you are discontented, it does trickle down. Something to ponder folks.


So I leave you with this. When you are out shopping, talking, walking the dogs, smile at someone you meet. It does make a difference and you never know, it could save their life as well as your own.


Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday's, Happy Chanukah, and Happy Kwanza. Until we meet again, Kiss Kiss, Hug Hug.

Being Thankful....

Almost everyone is thankful for something around this time of year. I am thankful for everything I have and manifestations I want all year round. I love the  Thanksgiving season. One reason is my birthday is only a few days from it depending on the year,  either before or after and every 7 years on it. Those are my favorite ones because if I don't want to cook, I don't have to. I usually do unless a friend is kind enough to invite me and my beloved's over. Now that my son's are 19 and 23, I am sure they will start participating in the prepping of this holiday as both enjoy cooking too.


This year I have so many wonderful things to be grateful for. First and foremost are my beloved son's. Both were well planned bundles of joy. And I prayed every day to be graced with both pregnancies. I loved being pregnant and even being gutted like a fish, to give them life. (they LOVE when I say that, oh by the way)....2016 brought another year with my sweet, loving, giving, affectionate French Bulldog Gigi and even more nanny time with my sweet baby boy Frenchie, Stitch. That breed really is the cutest of breeds and everyone loves them. When I take them out or even just Gigi, people run over to them, or coo, just like when you see babies. That's the power this breed has on people. I was blessed with meeting new friends, growing deeper attachments to current friends and some friends just bowed out gracefully. All have been good for both of us, I'm sure.


Since I got divorced, I try to be the friend who contacts others and makes sure they are ok, or reach out to try and have quality time with them. I've noticed that when I pull back from initiating meet ups, some just fall away. And that's ok. People have new friends, new relationships, jobs etc, to cultivate and take care of. I'm ok with just backing away and letting them go. If they want to hang out, they know how to reach me. :)


I am thrilled to celebrate Thanksgiving with my my sons, the two 'bullies' and three girlfriends this year. I have pulled out the Spode china and glassware, went shopping for the menu and of course, jug of wine and the pumpkin pie. DVD's will be brought into the living room for viewing if others would like to watch. I have all the Christmas staples: Elf, Christmas Vacation, The Ref, The Grinch cartoon and live action, naturally, I have the Alistar Sims's version of The Christmas Carol, my personal fave,  The Holiday, Love Actually, purr Hugh and Colin, and we also have The Christmas Story and Scrooged as well. I am looking forward to some sarcasm and laughs and chocolate and candy and of course wine, did I say that already? LOL


So CHEERS! To you all and I hope you have a very happy Thanksgiving and for heaven's sake, be safe if you venture out and shop with the Black Friday people. Oy!


Kiss Kiss Hug Hug, until we blog again.

Delusion or Positive Thinking...that is the question

When do you get to the point of asking yourself,  "Am I being delusional, or is it just taking longer?" Say you have an image of what your life should be and you put that positive thought out in the universe daily, maybe even several times a day, and it hasn't happened yet. When is it time to refocus your image? Obviously, it takes longer than a day, week or even a month, but if it's been a year or 2 years, should you give up?


I was rereading "The Secret" and there was a passage about how some people are so close to their manifestation but they have doubt because it was taking so long and the universe said "OK, you don't want it." And it never came to fruition. Anytime I have a doubt I throw it right out with a positive reply. (yes, I do talk to myself and we have lovely conversations, thank you)


If my feeling of an outcome is strong, I refuse to give it up but again I come back to "Am I delusional?" Of course my bestie Holly, would never say "yes, you are a total nut job, let it go" but it does make me wonder. Now her husband on the other hand, thinks I am completely bonkers, but he just doesn't appreciate the wonder and amazement that is me. LOL. At least that's my take. :)


In closing I just want to say this to you all. If you have a dream about your future, and you feel strongly about this outcome, never give up. Just make sure this manifestation you are creating isn't anything harmful to you or another. That is totally bad Karma and I wholeheartedly believe in Karma. Thus why I may complain about idiot co workers, I do say prayers for them nightly. I don't wish them harm, I just want them to mind their own biznass and focus on work, is that asking too much? Apparently, it is. But not everyone was raised with work ethic or a conscience. I was lucky enough to have been.


Hope all of you have a Happy Halloween and lovely rest of your fall. Till we meet again, hug hug, kiss kiss. Muah....

Idiots Are Everywhere

Ok, that may seem harsh, but who among us has never had interactions with them? Like ever? Exactly, no one. Even the Pope and the Dalai Lama have idiots around them. Oy!


I remember when common sense was a given not a luxury. What happened? What bred all these dumbarses? I have two beloved sons and they are 18 & 23. They have brains, common sense, initiative, and morals. Why don't the people I come in contact with? I'm not just saying young people. I'm talking about old as yo momma and young as my kids.


It really bewilders me when co workers come and ask me a question, that WE ALL SHOULD KNOW and ask it as if it was brand new to them. I know my face has a total look of "are you f*cking kidding me" on it. Because that's what I'm usually thinking as they ask it. They start it off and I start thinking "ohhhh nooo, I know where this is going. You CANNOT be serious" and alas they are. Maybe it's because as you age we all hear about losing memory's or forgetting things but come on, if this is part of your day to day job, I think a person could recall that without asking.


Look, I have my numerous shares of "blonde moments" but half the time I either didn't hear it correctly or I wasn't thinking along those lines. I completely admit to being very naïve even though I can be a hardened beyotch. But this is a whole other world of stupid. This is "how do you drive yourself home" stupid questions.


No other place like traffic to make you believe we are all doomed on this Earth. I have lived in many different states and it doesn't matter where I drive, traffic has it's shares of Forrest Gump drivers. My one friend had to commute on 3 different freeways and how she didn't kill herself or another is beyond me. Her favorite phrase was "these people are too stupid to live". Amen Missy, A to the Men. :)


In closing, people are getting more dumb with every passing day. It's either in the water, the drugs, the air or someone is injecting dumbarse fluid while they sleep. But I do try to stay positive, work is very difficult to stay in that zone, however, I  take deep breaths, look at my picture of my Dad, my first dog Tammy and me in our first house in FL and think, it's going to be ok. I will be ok. And remember Alana, you would not do well in prison, there are no tiara's. Gasp! The horror!


Until we meet again, hug hug kiss kiss and most of all thank you for reading.

Musings

Since we are all individual and unique, I know each of us has a different way with dealing with either strife, or confrontation. I personally try not to deal with either but things do happen on this crazy road we call Life. As I've gotten older if I feel someone has disrespected me, or lied to me I will avoid them and it doesn't make a difference if they are family, co worker or friend. I would just rather fade away and not look back. This is where I get called "heartless". I'm sorry, if family mistreats you, they are no different than a person you call a friend, other than sharing DNA. Just because they are family that's not an automatic "pass" to be a hag. Not in my world.

Back in my younger days, and sometimes if I get really pissed off I still may flip, but I wouldn't think twice about ripping someone and that was before we had cell phones. (yes, I'm that old, I told you I was 900). I have a quick temper on some things, and recently someone told me that I needed to 'think about things, let it process before I respond'. To which I replied "Go fuck yourself", but he had a point. And since that helpful tidbit, I have tried to put the phone down and think about what I want to reply with before I snap and just spew. I have also learned through the years, that I don't name call when I'm angry. I still name call but now it's in fun. I  do not pull crap from the past and throw it at someone. We all make mistakes and each day is a new opportunity to change your behavior or help another instead of hurt one another.

I do not go out of my way to annoy someone or start a fight. However, if you pick one and I feel strongly about the subject, I will retaliate with comments. I don't like being angry with someone, and I loathe being hurt or treated like crap. I am one of those people that if I value you and our relationship and I feel a change in attitude I will confront you and inquire as to what I did or what has happened. If you choose not to discuss it, I will walk away. If you don't want to be in my life, that is your business and I will not beg you to be. No hard feelings.

I like to think I'm a caring, trusted, fun, responsible friend, but I know I have flaws. If you want to share those with me, go ahead. I'm not that spoiled that if you should try I'm going to take my toys and play elsewhere. I am a grown arse woman, I can handle it. I promise, I will not dissolve like sugar in the rain. Trust me on this.

Bottom line is this, as I have stated many times before, Life is Short, Life can be Hard, but you know what buttercup? so are we. If you just try to be the best YOU that YOU can be, no one can fault you and if they do, again, that's their business and their own issue.

Until we speak again, hug hug, kiss kiss.

Feelings...(you immediately start singing the song, I know!)

For as long as I can remember hiding feelings was just who I was. As you age and go through break ups with friends, boyfriends, lovers, family etc, you get more adept at keeping what really bothers you to yourself. Unless you are like me after a few cocktails and then you spew your heart. However, I've only done that if I still cared about the person.


When I was younger and dated I was always told I was a "cold" person. My ex huzband actually coded his house phone to say "The Refrigerator is calling ". Yeah, it's called self preservation. And I admit I am still one of those I will hurt you before you hurt me types. I was having a deep convo with my BFF Holly and relating some comments and she replied, ever so gently because that's how she approaches it, that when I get burned by someone that I still have in my life, when they may be actually genuine, I won't see it as that and think they have an ulterior motive. That would be the cynical side of me. I have over the years, tried not to be that way, but let's face it, sometimes if something or someone seems to good to be true, 9 times out of 10, it's a hoax.


The reason I don't have people in my life who have hurt, betrayed, lied to me is if I can't trust you, I don't want you around. I'm not going to spend my life second guessing you. Life is too short and that's not how I want to exist. I do have a couple of people still in my life that have hurt me, but I keep them at arms length and until I'm finally done, nothing anyone says will get through. I may be a little hard headed or stubborn that way, your call. :)


In the end, feeling emotions, (bleck) is what makes us human. I think in some instances there is nothing wrong with being more robot like to protect yourself but just make sure you do that with people that have wronged you first, give new people a shot. I don't mean lay down and let them rub your belly, but ease into your coldness.


As always, hug hug, kiss kiss and be nice to someone today, it will make you feel good.