Cynical or Reality...that is the question

After 9/11 I stopped watching the nightly news. My beloved's were still young and I wanted to live in the fantasy world similar to being at Disney World. Everything was lovely, fun, safe, sunshiney, sparkly, clean, and no one was wronged, hurt or deceived....Yeah well, like I said, a fantasy world.

In my 900 years of roaming this earth, I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly in people. I myself try to stay on the good path, but I have had times of being Evil Princess and I know it. The only difference is I own it, others just like to pretend they are good all the while plotting to get by with something or over someone. One of the ways I try to remain on my good path is by believing in karma. Both my kids have known what karma was since they were very young. You hit your brother, friend, dog etc, bad things will come back to you. I think it's one of the reasons why both my sons are caring, selfless, and always eager to help others, they know that it's not only the right thing to do, but somewhere down the line, someone will help you when needed. I stand firm in my belief there is nothing wrong with that thinking.

My Mum being a nurse, which as you know, is the epitome of a helping person. Good lord these people in the medical field go into that job with the idea of helping others and taking care of them.  God love them, lord knows I would kill people since I am so not a people person. I can't deal with whiny complainers, and add an infectious disease or two, ah hell naw, I am so out of there. Thus, why I am not a nurse or anything close to that type of profession. I still find a fascination with Psychology but that's because I like to try and understand the thought process of people and what makes them delusional, deceitful or just down right bonkers.

It's day 29 of the new year and I am still struggling to find my passion, the one thing that I want to do to sustain myself and my kids, cats, and piggies. I need to find my purpose and leave a mark in this world. I don't want to pass away, one day in my car , from a heart attack like a recent co worker. I envy people who know they want to be rock stars, or poets or Miss USA, I mean, that's amazing. There are people I know who knew what they wanted to be since they were kids. That's a calling and beyond determination, to go through the many years of schooling and still you know you want to be a performer, or a doctor, lawyer etc. We all wanted to be rock stars when we were young, right? But how many actually make it? Actors are a dime a dozen, but the truly talented and right place at the right time people, make it happen. Perhaps I just need a good chokra cleansing to clear my mind and open my destiny.

Bottom line, its your life, your choice and your mindset that takes you where you need or want to go. Tap into and get on with it. Life really is too short for procrastination. Kiss Kiss Hug Hug

Office Etiquette

Come on people, we don't need a class on how to walk down the hallway, do we? It's just like driving. You are walking down the hallway, corridor, path etc. Someone approaches you, you should be walking on the right side, they should be walking on the right side so that when you come to meet up, everybody is walking on the right side and you pass each other with ease and no touching.

Apparently some of the arseholes I work with, don't know how to drive. I just came down the aisle and two guys were coming towards me walking side by side, what's the polite thing to do? One douche steps either behind or in front of his friend so they are single file, but what does this moron do? He comes at me face to face. I had to stop to let him go by, excuse me? What happened to letting ladies go by or protecting them from the street etc. Dude was babbling about some bs and if I hadn't been looking, he would have ran me over, even though he was looking right at me. Not like I was invisible asshat.

That's about as annoying as when you are at the store with a shopping cart, and two hags are cart to cart blocking the aisle so they can discuss whose kid is smarter. I just stand there and glare until one of them finally stops thinking the world revolves around her and notices they are blocking all of us sane people who are just trying to get some groceries. Another fun thing is when you are online for whatever and people try to worm their way in front of you. Yeah, not on my watch sugar lips. Get here in a timely fashion and you won't have to worry about being a rude bitch or dick, whichever gender you identify with.

I had a friend who hated people about as much as I do and I got him a tee that read "Don't Fuck With Me", I should have gotten two.

Kiss kiss grump grump

Ah the fun times we have on dates.....not

Sooooooooo, I met a guy Friday night, gave him my number, which I never do, texted with him Saturday and met for the first and only date Sunday. Let me give you some background. I didn't date for 7 years because at the time my beloved's were younger and my on again off again bf of 5 years and I broke up for good. I decided to focus on my sons and hang with my friends on the off weekends. I enjoyed that. I would meet my peeps on my 'single' weekends for dinner, plays, music, adult beverages, trips, moovies, etc. No muss, no fuss and certainly no heartbreak.

In the last few years my friends were encouraging me to start dating again. I wasn't really looking to do that, but after many lectures, I did branch out on some online dating sites and found either weirdos or just people I had no chemistry with. For me, I know instantly, if I am attracted to you. I don't need to spend more time, or find out more about them, it's either there or it's not. Which is why, when I do find someone that connects and I find attractive, it's hard to let go. But I always do if that's what needs to happen.

Back to this past weekend. Since I'm trying to defluff myself, my trainer suggested skipping beer due to the wheat, and have either wine or vodka drinks. Since all my 'pump you up' people drink vodka etc, I figured I would try that. Apparently, I have zero tolerance for vodka and became quite drunk fairly quickly. Who knew? Now we all do. So after my second vodka with soda water and a twist of lemon, my girls and I met this guy. We chatted and I laughed and my two girls disappeared leaving me to talk with him. Ok, no worries, I was in a safe environment. Somehow we exchanged numbers, and I say 'somehow' because I really don't know how it happened. Anyhoo, it did.

Michelle and I leave and hit our fave after bar place WH. During our breakfast, I get a text from this guy. Ok, a little fast but whatever, I didn't reply as it wasn't a question just a comment. Go to sleep and he had texted two more times. Oy. This is why I don't give my number out unless I really know someone. He texted throughout the day. I was hanging with my peeps Saturday and told him so and he was still asking me questions. Now, if someone tells me I'm hanging with someone, I get the message and stop communicating. I was having fun and catching up with friends, I didn't need this guy to continue to text me. So I stopped all together. The worse text was this "Thinking of you", YOU DON'T KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH for that line. I told my guys that I was with. and one said "Stage 4 clinger" yeah no shiz. I didn't reply to that and he continued to ask questions. Then he tells me he is out of work. No reply. Then he calls me, I didn't answer. Then he texts and asks if I'm still out watching the game. I should have just cancelled the date then, but I didn't bc my peeps are always telling me I don't give people a chance, ok well I did.

Sunday rolls around, I text him and tell him I received his voicemail and that I would see him at 6, our planned time to meet up. Dude comes in to this quiet restaurant and talks really loud. That's the only positive thing I can say about him. I never once had to ask him to repeat a question bc I couldn't hear him, in fact, I'm pretty sure the whole bar heard his convo. Ok, so he comes in and immediately goes in for a kiss. SAY WHAT? He gets the cheek and then he sits across from me and just stares and tells me how beautiful I am and how am I still single. Now, don't get all huffy and think I'm being a snot, but come on dude. You had told me numerous times via text, and once was enough in person. I'm not the girl who needs constant validation, I have a mirror, I know what I look like, I know what my friends tell me I look like, I got it. And what is one supposed to say if she doesn't feel the same you ask? "thank you, you are very kind" is what I said. So we do the general chit chat, and he grabs for my hands to hold them. Ummmm, yeah that's gonna be a no mister. My hands never left my lap afterwards. We leave and bonus, he doesn't want the date to end.. I check my watch thinking it was about my bedtime, but it had only been an hour since we got there. Sigh. I take him to the bookstore. As we walk over there he does the rub your back bs, I had had enough of his touchy feely shiz, and said, "I'm going to have to stop you right there, I'm not touchy feely." You think he got that not so  subtle hint? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....He still didn't get the message I wasn't feeling it when he walked me to my car and again went in for the kiss. Ugh. all I could think is I know I have not given off one iota of an interest towards you, what are you thinking?

Reason 2000 why I don't date. thanks for listening. Kiss Kiss Hug Hug

End of another year

Let's see, what have we all learned after another year? Anybody?

I've learned that you still can't change anybody.

That you really do have to try and please yourself bc you can't please everybody. However, not if that means you hurting another.

I've learned time really does fly by even though there are periods where you feel it has stopped.

I've learned that children really do listen to what you have to say, even though you think it falls on deaf ears.

I've learned that old people really do get cranky and senile.

I've learned that people you think are your besties are not always what they seem.

I've learned that when you take different meds to even out your depression you can gain 1,000 lbs without trying.

I've learned that I could actually purchase condoms for my son so I don't become a grandma in 2015.

I've learned that we are never ever done learning, and teaching things.

I've learned that I still love Christmas and all it entails. I love saying Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanza or Feliz Navidad.

I bid you all a peaceful, loving and safe end of 2014. Kisses and thank you for reading.

Shopping with significant others...

In the last few weeks, I have heard my girls complain about shopping with their significant others. Even when I have one, I know better than to go shopping with them. I shop with friends. Friends don't ask "do you really need that?" or "I don't think so and so would want that." They have either had a man act like a petulant child, meaning he was either riding in the basket, aka Matthew, or taking selfie's of himself sitting in a chair or laying among toilet paper. Oy! Who needs that? If I wanted to shop with a child, I would borrow Michelle's grandbabies. At least they have an excuse for their behavior.

Another friend told me how her experience was not so much that attitude, but her trying to buy for others and he's trying on clothes for himself. Ummm, do that on your own time buddy. At this time of year, if you are shopping together, genuinely it's for a present, and not for your arse. I told her I would have left him and continued along my path. He has a cell phone, he knows how to call or text when he notices you are gone. If he is posing in the mirror, he doesn't even notice you have left.

I told all my guys, your purpose when shopping with your woman is this: Push the cart, or carry the items, help take them to the car, no pouting, no bitching and if need be, slap some duct tape on their mouths. You could try the trick I used to do to my beloved's when they were little and get out of hand. Get real close to their face and pinch their arm and say really quietly, "if you don't sit down, shut up and act right, I will kill you when we get to the car!" This always changed their attitudes. My kids are smart like that, they know they can push but when Momma breaks to death threats, and gives you the grandma Korol look, you know you better fly right or you're going home in the trunk, if you're lucky.

In closing, remember peeps, the escapade of shopping is for pleasure, do not make this a chore for your lady. 9 times out of 10, she is shopping for people on your list and doing you a favor, so appreciate her taking time out of her bizzy schedule to get things for you and your annoying family or friends, and shut the fuck up!

Kisses to all.....

My men friends aka my Minions.....

Ever since I was young I've always had more male friends than female friends. I don't know if it was where I lived or because I have always been a guys girl. Sure I call myself a Princess, however, (that name was given to me, I did not name myself). But I'm really not foo foo or too girly. I do like sparkly eyes and blingy jewelry but I can get wet in the rain, I can slum around in sweats without make up and not have a seizure. When I date a guy I take off my make up at night, so they know how scary I really am, it's just part of life and who I am. I have no facade, what you see is completely what you get with me. If you haven't noticed that already kids. lol...

In the last year,  some of my younger mens have developed love relationships with great ladies. I normally don't have a problem with any of their ladies unless something happens and then I try to keep my mouth shut and suck it up and try to use my manners that Mum has beat into me, sometimes to no avail, but she does get an A for effort. The beauty of when my mens get gf is that I suddenly get gifts for my birthday. I get cards, or like in Matthew's case the lovely Karebear cooked me lunch, made a cake from scratch and appetizers too. It was truly lovely. I got to hang with Matthew and watch football, drink beer and play with the dogs, and she catered to us. She is such a love and why I don't expect gifts, it's always nice to receive them. When I had my birthday outing Thrilla's lady Tracey, bought me a card and something else but I had had a few adult beverages by then. I just remember reading the card the next day. But again, they didn't have to do any of that. For me, just you taking time out of your busy schedules to spend a few hours with me, was enough.

Only recently have I lost a men to his lady and you know what? That is his journey to take. The last time I spoke with him to my knowledge, nothing was wrong and he said that I would be getting an apology from her for a misunderstanding. Next thing I know he's not returning texts and I hear it's bc of something I said. Ok, if you say so. People have to do what they feel is right for them. Initially, I was very hurt bc I trusted, loved and appreciated this guy for 2 years. So it was quite the shock not to have my Waffle House partner to depend on. I wish them nothing but the best. You don't want to be my friend, no worries, you don't have to be. But we all know, I'm fantastic and always good for a few clumsy laughs.

Till we meet again kids, Kiss Kiss, Hug, Hug and Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza and Feliz Navidad!

My baby is growing up, sniff.......

Beloved #2 has a new girlfriend. He's had a gf before but that one only lasted a few weeks. When you ask him why they broke up he will tell you 'because she was crazy and I wanted off that merry go round', at the time, dude was 16 and he still has more brains than his Mum. Maybe he has learned from my past.....I asked him if he broke up with her via text and both my sons chimed in " Do we look like douchebags to you?" touche' sons, well played. I know 40 year olds who just disappear so I applaud when a man breaks up like a man. Ahem.

This new gf is in chorus and as you may remember beloved is in musical theatre. I think they compliment each other nicely. I met her briefly, as he was making her dinner on my pre birthday moovie night. Since they wouldn't be together Thanksgiving, he wanted to do something special for her. (cue the ahhhhhhhhhh's) He is his mother's kind hearted, loving, and even thoughtful son. Beloved #2 is over 6 foot 3 and his gf is shorter than I. I am 5'6 AND she wears flats. hahahha I had to laugh bc as it is even when I wear heels I'm looking up to him. Maybe he just carries her around like a little puppy or doll.

This past weekend both beloved's went to my high school bff and helped her huzband hang outdoor lights. She was too gracious and over paid them but I digress. He barely had the money in his hands for 10 minutes and he wanted to go to the mall to this character store to see if they had a stuffed Penguin bc that is gf's favorite. (again, cue ahhhh's) He is so adorable with this new love that I envy him. Don't we all remember when we were in the first stages of deep smit with a new love? Sigh, it's nice to see that he hasn't become jaded by me or his lovely father's dating comments. I can only imagine how those have improved over time, not.

As this giving season continues, I just hope beloved and his love remember to think about what they say, do and how they act so they don't lose this current feeling. All love ages and we take our partners for granted, but we don't have to. Just remember how this feeling feels, and I bet they will keep that love train running on the right track.

Till we meet again kids, Kiss Kiss.