Musings

In past blogs, I believe I've shared that I can be opinionated, sarcastic, brutally honest, hard working and on very rare occasions, sweet. Now my Mum would tell you that I am PIEW, which stands for "Perfect In Every Way", we heard this all the years we were growing up and still  do to this day. I know, my Mum has been in denial for about 50 years. I would die for my boys but I'm not hoodwinked into telling people they are PIEW, pfft, I know better. They are my rays of sunshine, my sole reasons for living, but perfect? BAHAHAHAHAH, yeah, not happening. I will conceded they are quite close to being perfect to me though. Both are considerate, sarcastic, funny, brilliantly smart and thanks to me, good looking. hee hee, although I do think my Dad used to take credit for their looks. I give both my parents credit for my looks, I didn't make myself. :)

As I was saying. My boys are 4 1/2 years apart and for a long time, they were complete torture to raise. In the standpoint that they would argue incessantly, and anyone with kids knows what I mean. "He's touching me", "He's looking at me", "He took my toy/game/food". OMG. But now, Skyler is 20 and Spencer is 15. In the last few years, Skyler has really become a young adult who gets the whiny crap doesn't fly in the real world. He used to love to tattle on Spencer or talk down to him, but now he really is becoming that big brother that I always hoped he would be. He tries to impart his high school advice and naturally, Spencer's reply is usually "yeah, I'm not doing that" when Skyler tries to guide him into a smart move.

 Like Skyler, in middle school Spencer played an instrument and then went into the Theatre club in high school. This was no easy feat for Spencer though. Skyler likes to tell us all that he was the youngest in the family to have a job, since he was 3 when he landed the Scottish Rite/Children's Hospital promotion. Straight out of the acting gate and he gets TV and Radio spots. I took him in for modeling because he was the cutest little kid ever, blond hair with dark blue eyes. I mean he was model material but due to his outgoing personality, which he didn't get from me, oh by the way, she wanted to use him for Acting and the next 7 years that's what he did. He did commercials for overseas and  local TV. Then of course, he decided he wanted to quit that, so he "retired" at 10.

 But now Spencer has entered the Acting ring and is also quite good. I never would have seen that coming when he was a toddler. Dude wouldn't leave my side until he was school aged. Spencer was 10 1/2 pounds at birth, and my happy arse was still carrying him up until he was 4. I did have some killer arm tone though, so there's a plus. Now my little "sack of taters" is 15 and I have to surf the net for size 14 shoes, seriously? I'm afraid he's not done growing, Skyler hit 6'2 at 16, and Spencer is already pushing 6'3, soooo. The up side? I don't have to carry him anymore and they are now my bouncers, my twin towers, when we go out. It's actually very nice and again, I'm thankful every day they are my beloveds.

Childhood Holiday Memories

When I was a wee child we always went to the North Palm Beach Country Club for our 4th of July festivities. During the day Mum would take me and her other child, to the pool while Dad played a few rounds of golf. Then we would go home, shower, get dressed and come back up for the fireworks display. It was always amazing,  epic even. I remember sitting on the golf course, our little fam of four, chatting with our friends and running around while we waited on the program to begin. Such happy times. The golf course was so wide and so long where they shot off the fireworks,  that you literally felt like it was raining down on you when they would shoot off. I don't remember music playing but still, it was so much fun and entertaining to watch and listen to.

For Christmas I remember a few times going to Lantana for the giant tree festival, but I believe that was in high school and I went with friends. I'm sure if I tried to take my kids to that they would tell me how lame it was or even worse, how lame I was, as if.

But you know, times were simpler then. Atari had come out but lord, you didn't spend all day playing Pong or you would go crazy. I could only sit there for a short while and listen to that "ping" so many times before I said "OK, I'm done!" But that could be my self diagnosed ADD too, who knows. I can't sit and play video games now, and trying to watch my sons, even something that constantly moves, bores me to tears. I had this one boyfriend who would play those army games with his roommate and after 5 minutes I was saying "alrighty then, I'm going to bed, see you later." Both my sons play video games but the eldest can sit in his "man cave" and play all night long. He has always been a nocturnal child. I remember when I was carrying him and I'd get ready for bed and then BAM, he decides it's time to kick and roll while Mummy tried to sleep. He can stay up all night and then go to bed at 6 am and sleep until 3pm. And I'm saying that in present day, not past. His Dad spoils him like no body's business. I often say that Skyler could pull a Columbine and my ex would blame the school. Skyler has never been in trouble with his Dad, whereas Spencer could do something so minimal and be banned to the dungeon for life. Fact. My baby daddy can deny all he likes, but even Skyler will tell you "I can get away with anything, I am the Messiah." And he is being dead serious. He doesn't say it to be cocky, he's just stating the truth. We all know this and Spencer knows I pretty much let him do whatever he wants, so it sort of balances out. If his Dad gets on him too hard I will intervene but baby daddy isn't much into punishing either of them anyway. His Dad was a little on the over punishing side so Steven is the polar opposite. Of course, he would tell you that I was making this up, but ask anyone who knows all of us and you will come to find out, I'm right, as usual I might add. Hee hee.

Neighborly love...ugh

I have lived in my house for 13 years now and of the 3 neighbors I speak with, I was the first here. When my other people moved in we all made nice, introduced ourselves etc. The family directly across from me, has two girls, so when my boys were younger the four of them would hang out. The freak to the left and across from me, is my issue. Now, Clem is a nice enough guy, never married and I found out is now retired for the last few years. Side note, if this guy had 3 girls locked in his house ala Cleveland, I would not be surprised. I don't know what his house looks like on the inside and I pray I never find out. Over the years Mr Clem, as I refer to him, is the neighbor where if you are out watering your plants, or painting your house or generally just freaking busy doing yard work, his happy arse will pop over and chit chat. Clearly, he cannot tell I'm busy. Grrrr and the Mrs. Rogers in me makes me stop what I'm doing and chat. And that pisses me off. I'm outside for a reason, not to catch up on the latest gossip or be interrogated like the Gestapo.


A few months ago, I went out for the first mow of the year, always a happy day for me as I really enjoy mowing. Great exercise and I feel such a sense of accomplishment when I am done. I am barely 3 rows in and here comes Mr Clem, oh joy. He starts off complaining about the neighbors barking dog, which I do concede is annoying as fuck. I cannot even hang outside on my deck bc she is barking the whole time and ruins even a beer buzz. After he is done with that issue, he moves along to asking me why I haven't been around. I look at him like he has 4 heads bc I am home every night after work so I'm perplexed as to what the hell he is speaking of. And I ask, "um, what? I'm here every night." He then says "Oh, I haven't seen you home and I thought you were spending the nights with your friend." (first of all, yes this is creepy that he watches over me, but after 13 years, eh, whatever, I'm used to it). Now at this point I have no clue what "friend" he is referring to and I stupidly ask, "What friend? Shelly?' and he says "No, the blond guy who drives the silver boxy car." Thankfully, I'm wearing my sunglasses so he can't see my eyes when I say "I don't know who you are referring to, none of my friends look like that." "Yes, you know the tall skinny guy." I keep my calm and say "Um, huh, yeah I don't remember anyone like that" for the record I know exactly whom he is talking about but I choose to ignore it. He then proceeds to move onto my sons. "I haven't seen the kids around either, if you need work done around the house, you know I will help". Now I'm pissed bc my boys are here every Tuesday/Wednesday for dinner and "Mum" time, so this A-hole has no clue what he is saying and I don't need him spying on me.  I get away from him and then here comes the other guy Brent, who lives directly across from me with the two girls. He asks "Was Clem complaining about me?" Jesus, really people?  I reply "No, we were talking about the dog etc", "OK good, bc I have chickens and I didn't know if he was talking about them." Christ, help a sista out down here, would you?

My deal is this, you do your thing, I'll do mine. I mind my business, please mind yours.

I know I am, but what are you?

Over the course of my 900 years of existing on this planet, I have acquired some lovely nicknames. Naturally my fave is Princess, just regular Princess, because I am the people's Princess, so nothing more needs to be added to that. However, I've been called "Ice Princess", "The Refrigerator", "Snot Box", and as of late "Miss OCD". Personally, I do not mind "Ice Princess" because it reminds me of a time when I didn't put up with crap from anyone, I really need to be more like that girl, but I veered away as I thought I was too much of a Bitch, perhaps I was mistaken.

Saturday night, one of my bestie guy friends Matt and I, were celebrating our 1 year friendship anniversary. We didn't go to dinner or exchange gifts, but we went to the place where we met and sat under my beloved JBJ wall size photo. Pure bliss for me, anyhoo, Matt brought a date, (I KNOW RIGHT!) to our celebration. I brought my friend Michelle, but it wasn't a date, have some class Matt, I mean really. I am totally kidding with the "date" thing, I wasn't upset he had a friend join us, really. OK, so his "date" has this very annoying, to me anyway, habit of twirling her hair. After about a good 10-15 minutes, I finally said something. It may have come off a tad harsh, I might have even spoken a little louder than my normal voice, and perhaps slammed the table? But geezus! If you are hanging with me, you had better not have even annoying tics because I will be a hag and say something. So we go back to chit chat, and lo and behold, she starts it back up. I think I growled under my voice and again brought it to her attention. When I commented the first time, I do believe I said something close to "OH MY GOD! YOU ARE KILLING ME WITH YOUR HAIR TWIRL". So this time I may have even threatened to beat her, it's unclear exactly what was said, but Matt called me "Miss OCD" and asked me to calm down, which I did. They left shortly after that. Hmmmm, was that the reason why? Lol.

I guess my point is, we all have things that either annoy us, disturbs us or sends us over the edge. Doing repetitive motions, clearly, sets me off. But I'm that person that can't sit still either. My leg will just start jumping up and down, and I've been told to stop it and I do. One of the reasons I get so irritated with traffic is because I like to keep moving. When I travel and we come to a dead stop? OMG, it will send me over the edge faster than an car being blown up in Fast & Furious. I was coming home from Charleston, a few months back, and all of the sudden BAM, dead stop traffic. I freaked, I was traveling with a new friend who really hadn't seen how I can go postal, period, must less while being stuck in a non moving vehicle. I tried  my phone to find a reason for said traffic, there was none, so that frustrated me. Then I'm looking at the other vehicles and I'm hanging out of the window trying to see if there had been an accident. I wanted to get out of the vehicle but I was told to keep my happy arse inside. So then I tell my friend, "Fine, you have to entertain me, or it's going to get ugly and no singing!" We played "What's your favorite blank?" That was fun for about 5 minutes. The only way I can explain this is I'm not a patient person. I know my close peeps are shocked, they had no idea. But it's true, I blame my DNA. My Dad was not a patient guy, guess that's why we got along so well. When we are ready to go, or do something, by God, the rest of you had better be too. And can I just say, growing up with two Leo's in the house, (neither were me or my Dad, side note) my Dad and I were fuming a lot when it came to traveling. I'm just saying.....

Things I've learned in the last 900 years of being me

As I reflect on stupid mistakes, or uninformed errors, I have come to realize that like the highways that lead us to our physical destinations,  little clues from interactions with people,  lead us on our personal highways. Below are just a smidgen of the ones I have remembered to really listen to in the future and they are in no particular order, just as I recalled them to write them down:

1. If someone tells you "I want it all, I want to be a kid in a candy store and I want you", tell Willy Wonka adios.

2. If someone appears selfish initially, she really is THAT selfish in the long run.

3. If you only hear from someone at their convenience, they are not a friend.

4. If your physical therapist, whom you've maybe had 2 convo's with, tells you to "slow down and enjoy life because if you don't God will slow you down himself",  I'm thinking that's a sign I'm not supposed to work 7 days a week.

5. That old saying that we all had posters of on our bedroom wall, "If you love something set it free" etc, it's actually quite spot on. Because if somebody truly cares about you, loves you, needs you, they will go out of their way to get you back and let you know just how much they care. Now, I'm not saying you want them back, and it could get quite messy if you no longer feel the same, but that's a different blog.

6. Time really does fly. When my first beloved was born, the first most amazing day of my life, other Mom's and my own parents said "treasure these days as they will grow up before you know it", and side bar, I actually teared up writing that line, sniff, where was I? Oh right, SQUIRREL!  They really do seem like only yesterday. But now he is a tall, strapping man of 20. And I'm an old hag looking on the down side of death. Oh joy. (sarcasm)

I don't even know where to begin...

A few months ago, I was moping about a friend that I missed and the great fun we had last fall, right? Well, I still had contact with said friend, we will call him Mason, because I stupidly, really thought we had cultivated a friendship. I grant you that I can be naive but this blows naivety out of the frickin window. OK, like I said, Mason and I were still talking, no longer hanging out but we were friendly and would catch up with each other. Last month Mason gets back together with his on again off again love, I  was truly happy for him. I knew their break up was hard on him as we had discussions about it. Look, anytime my friends fall in love or get back together with 'the one' I am all for it, my feelings aside, truly.

Last night I met a side of Mason that I never even knew existed. You know how they say 'never judge a book by it's cover?' Well, if he's in a band, you can, because the stereotype is there for a reason ladies, especially if he is the lead singer. I'm out with my sons and their friend for dinner, always a good time, and I get a text from Mason. Very nice since he had been out of the country doing some gigs. I was excited to hear about the trip, the weather etc. We get that aside and he goes into sleaze mode. When Mason and I were hanging out last fall, we had very good evening convo's, so I'm not going to sit here and say I'm a prude, however, once another is in the picture, you are a FRIEND and I don't have those discussions with you anymore. When I told Mason this, he gets snippy, quite hilarious actually, and I convey that him being with his gf, this isn't happening and I was pissed he would even think I was some whore he could have these talks with. Excuse me, I am a Princess, and you are NOT going to play me for a fool or worse, a number. Move on down the alphabet my love. When I call him out for having the gf his reply was, and I'm quoting here, "we're working  on things...yea so". If he had been standing in front of me I would have slapped him. One of "their" and I mean his issues was he had broken her trust. Gee, really, color me shocked. ;p....I say "why would you chance losing her with this talk then?" Clearly, he didn't like this calling out because he comes back with "harmless fun..don't get so offended".  There were so many offenses last night that I couldn't even point to just one. What did I learn last night? When a guy says to you early on, "I'm a bad guy" frickin listen to him, he's not lying, he is telling you he is a scum wad. Unfortunately, his niceness shadowed that for a very long time with me. And since I considered us friends, I never thought I would see this side, which come to think of it, he doesn't have just two sides, he has ummmm, 5? But I also realized, we aren't friends, not in the tradition I see friendships in. I was and am just a number in his heavy Rolodex, but no longer. I see him for what he truly is now and I can never unsee that.

To Date or Not to Date...well for me it's always NOT

I enjoy listening to my friends, male and female, discuss their dates and or dating life. It confirms why I have chosen to not date in seven years, yes, I said seven years. And to qualify, 'hanging out' and 'dating' are two different things. Dating you have 'relations',  hanging out, you do not. :)....stopped you all before you even said "bullshiz". lol

Anyhoo, I have friends who do the online dating sites, which if nothing else, is pure comedy for all of us on a Friday or Saturday night. My one guy friend gets these weird messages every weekend and we have a game we play to see what type of person has "poked" him. I think I'm winning actually. But he trudges on ever seeking that one connection he wants to feel. I mean I get that aspect of it, but the crap you have to shovel through, is so not worth it to moi. I am really happy hanging with my peeps and my kids. I can come and go as I wish, which was a huge issue when I was married or in a few relationships. I was lucky with the last one, he did his thing and I did mine but we still made time for each other. Guess that's why we were back and forth for 5 years. But alas, both of us have moved on and we are better people for the time we did have. Well he is for sure, me I don't know. hahahahahah. As I was saying, I love when my friends  would say " I don't like drama" yet every relationship they cultivated, wreaked in heavy drama. Coincidence? I think not, it's not them honey, it's all you and your psychoness. But those are ex friends so I no longer have to listen to either of them drone on. Oy!

I recently met a few lovely ladies, who are both smart, attractive, funny, have their own things going on, both are gainfully employed and are not looking for Sugar Daddies, but just a nice guy to share their life with. You would think they were asking for the Hope diamond to be set at their feet. I just don't get it. One gets asked out quite a bit, but she likes another so she doesn't really go. The other, is like me, we don't get approached and quite honestly, we are both super fine with that. I work at my 'leave me the f*ck alone' vibe, I promise. If I'm out with my friends, I am not looking to hook up with anyone, other than my friends. So bah bye for you now. I'm not rude if someone does talk to me, but I keep it completely friendly. I can be a total bitch, but as long as you aren't rude or obnoxious, I'm good.

When I was in high school, my Mum used to encourage me to go out with guys I really had no interest in. Her motto was and still is "you never know who you might meet out". Newsflash, I have never met another while on a date. I personally, find that rude and ungracious not to mention tacky. Oh and did I mention bad karma????  But as I listen to my peeps and their stories, which by the way, are always entertaining and hilarious especially this one having to do with a parking lot, I really wish that one of those times, that date will turn out to be their "one". I pray every night for all of my single friends to find everlasting love because in the end, I want all of my pals to be happy. And if a mate makes them happy, then I will do whatever I can or needs to be done to make it happen. I'm just that kind of girl. You want to meet a cute boy/girl, point him out and I am on my way to getting that person for you. All they have to do is ask, or sometimes just say 'Hey that person is cute' and off I go.