The birds and the bees

My mum is a nurse. So when it came for the Sex talk, she brought out the big guns. She had this 3 sided information board, with pictures for your embarrassment. Now she would probably do it via Power Point, so I should be thankful. I was barely listening for this talk because it was beyond horrifying. I would have rather been decapitated than listening to her tell me, 'woman's va ja-ja' and a "mans penis". I mean come on. I will tell you, I'm not one of those girls who sits around with her girls and discusses sex either. Unless, I've had a few cocktails with shots, then all bets are off. Over the years I have had several group of girls who would just say stuff about their sex life and I would try not to have the deer in headlight look. Thankfully, I have one of my besties who's right there with me so I'm not the odd girl out, unless she isn't there and then it's "oh, wow, look at the time!" My mum was very pleased when my sister would want to discuss her body, sex , boys etc with her. Even now I want to run. They found great pleasure coming into my bedroom, flopping on the bed and bringing it up while I was getting ready to go out. Really people? Ew. My mum would ask 'what are you going to do when you have children?' My answer was always the same, that's what their dad is for. 'What about girls?' She will have you and your deranged daughter to scare the bejesus out of. I have two boys, and over the years, I would say 'hey, you have any questions you want mommy to answer' and thankfully they always said "NO!" But they know that if they have 'girl' questions mummy is here. Their dad talks with them, god knows I have no clue knowing what it's like to have a hard on in class, or a woody when I wake up. The beauty of being a girl, no one can see if you're turned on. lol....Both of them had "Health" class in middle school that pretty much scared the living hell out of them so we were both off the hook with approaching the subject. Sometimes when they do give me grief, I think, hmmmm, these two need a sex education class with GRANDMA, then they will appreciate how I say nothing. Perhaps I should work on that for Spencer's 14th birthday coming up. I will tell my mum to get working on that Power Point for them. hahahahahahahahahahah