Boobs

So I was mowing the lawn and this hornet had the audacity to sting me. The nerve! This got me to thinking about boobs. Wait for it, it will connect in just a sec. Remember when we were little and people would call our "boobs" mosquito bites? (see how I did that, insects) Ok, so I realized that I was more than blessed at a very young age. I was in 3rd grade, yes people 3rd grade, and my teacher pulled me out of the classroom to tell me that my mom needed to take me shopping for a bra. SAY WHAT??? Imagine the horror I felt going back into the class after being told my white shirt was see through. M-hm, I know what you are thinking, well I know what the guys are thinking. That night my mum gleefully took me shopping. I say gleefully because I dressed very plain. We lived in South Florida, again hot. I would wear shorts and a matching top. My mum told me later that one of my teachers told her she feared I would be gay, due to the manly way I dressed. Really homophobe? I was not a dress type of girl, and especially if I was playing, who needs the torment of some boy seeing your underpants. Ick. Anyway, I believe we ended up at Sears, where they had a woman who would actually fit you for a bra. Again, imagine the horror. Not only do I not want my mother to see me topless but now this complete stranger was measuring me. And rest assured, we weren't talking training bra here, oh noooo, we were too large for a trainer like normal girls. Ok, fast forward to high school, I was a swimmer and there is nothing like hearing the boys talk about your 'natural flotation devices' when you placed in a race. That was lovely. One of my fave comments from my mum, we were getting yet another bra with precise measurement, and she told the woman that we didn't know from Adam, almost apologetically, that the reason my shoulders were so broad was due to my swimming the "butterfly". "Fly" and "backstroke" were my two best swims. And as I look at swimmers you can tell when the "fly" is their best stroke, they are  "broad as a barn" another motherism.