When I first met my now ex-husband, he brought these weird arse "rules" he thought I should adhere to. I will say as a young, naïve 21 year old, I did do a lot of them....until I didn't. He thought when he went to bed, I needed to join him. As in, I can't stay downstairs and watch tv or read or whatever else I felt like doing if he was going to bed. Yeah, I thought it was stupid as well. He soon got over that demand. Idiot. Another of his relationship rules was we could never go on vacay without the other. Uh, excuse me? We never did either. As much as I would tell him to go and see his family, without me, it never happened. Ugh. How about I was never "allowed" yes you read that right, to go out without him. When a friend wanted to meet for drinks or go dancing that wasn't going to happen. And you get to a point in a relationship where you "pick your battles" just like when you raise your kids.
When my sister reached bar age he would give me a lecture about going out with her, without him. It just got to be such a hassle that I stopped telling her I would go. Then when I finally had had enough of the relationship, the rules, the lectures, and I said "I'm out", what does he do? Tells me I can go out with my friends, or sister or whomever, he realizes that I need that. If you know me, you know that "telling" me I can do something, is a deal breaker. I don't need anyone telling me what I can do.
Even when I was younger being told what to do would make me flip like a Shamu. How dare anyone tell me what I can and can't do. Who the hell are you? Even my parents never got away with that. My Mum finally got wise and started using psychology and said things in a way that I didn't take offense to. My Dad never really told not to do anything. I was a perfect child, as I am in adulthood, so there was no guiding this Princess. hahahahahah
I have married friends and their husbands are so cool and if they don't feel like meeting up with us, they encourage their spouse to come. I also have friends who have relationships where it's just easier to stay home bc their other either mopes about it, or gives the stupidest reasons for not letting them go. And that's ok for them. Not my relationship, and I'm not judging them. Just creating a post.
For me, I will never again be in a relationship where I have to ask permission, or get approval to do something or go anywhere. I do however, give the respect of telling my other what I want to do to see if there are plans in the works. That, I have zero problem with. That's just a respectful thing to do, in my opinion. But I should never be afraid to ask if I can go meet Stephanie or hit the beach with Susan if that's what I choose to do.
Hope all is having a fabulous week. Kisses!
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