Dating...bleck

 I had a date last Friday with a guy I have met several times but didn't really talk to until last week. When you meet someone out, and if you're like me, you have had an adult beverage or 2 you are more relaxed and inviting to chat with someone. If a dude comes up and tries to talk with me while I've not been drinking I usually just stare at him until I'm finally bored enough to say "Do I know you?" or in one instance "Why are you here?" Yes I know, it could be construed as rude or impolite but if you invade my personal space and I don't want you there, I can't be held accountable. I'm fairly certain Johnny Cochran has made that argument stick, I know somebody has. :)






Anyhoo, so dude was quite attentive all week with calling and texting etc. Sometimes a little too much sexual innuendo but I would either ignore or call him out on it. Here's a HUGE pet peeve, if I barely know you and have not spent at least a few hours of one on one time, do not ask me if I miss you. My answer is always going to be no. I can't miss someone I  A) don't know, or B) have never been around.  I mean seriously? If that is written in the Players handbook, don't use it. This is my helpful hint to all of you.


 Because both of us were busy with work, my kids/plans already made, we opted for lunch. Love this date. That way if it doesn't go well you can high tail it out of there after the meal. Like STAT. I will admit to being a tad shallow when he showed up I thought "hmmm, he looked better the other night" but you know he could have said the same thing about me. BAHAHAHAH who am I kidding? I always look good, I may be fluffy but at least I'm attractive. Anyway.....he was late, but he did tell me he would be. That didn't bother me.


He shows up and we talk and it's all good. I had to be somewhere in a few hours so we couldn't do a movie or hang out for long, but he wanted to show off his new bathroom and play his drums for me. I'm down, love the drums. I ask him if his drums are in the bedroom, because then I would have to decline, he assures me they are in the basement and I wonder to myself if that is worse. What if he has it padded and no one could hear me screaming for help? I mean you never know what people are REALLY like until you do. I will say this, dude did have manners, always a plus, and he could play some drums. So I have nothing negative to say about that.


He played a few songs, all that I liked so he has good taste in music and no he didn't play any Bon Jovi, but you know, not everyone is perfect. Then he pops in a movie and we watch "My Cousin Vinny" haven't seen that movie in years, but always hilarious. Mid movie he kissed me and it was nice, I mean I wasn't repelled which is always a good sign. I get up to leave after a while, and he walks me out to my car and kissed me again saying something like "talk to you later babe". And guess what? Yeah, never happened. But again, that's ok. Apparently, he wasn't that into to me and that's his right. He may be an idiot, but at least I found out before spending quality time and years. hahahahaha


Hugs hugs kiss kiss my friends, hope everyone is doing well.

Do you ever wonder....

If the reason there is drama or strife, occasionally in your life, that you are the catalyst for it? Stay with me now:


So I had a best guy friend and last year he stopped talking to me. The reason I found out, was because I started drama and was rude and or difficult to his other friends. Now, at the time I was taken shocked because I never want to be the one people think starts drama. I don't care for drama and I don't gossip about others and when people tell me things I don't tell everyone else. But I recently had a falling out with another friend because I found out she was talking to other friends about me and when I asked her a specific question about a situation she told me a completely different answer than another friend. I have always stated that if I cant trust you, then I cant be friends with you. I know this seems harsh, or unreasonable but I don't think it's too much to ask that my inner circle be trust worthy, sorry, it shouldn't even be a thought.


I will cop to being less than friendly with other people.  I cant hide my feelings, so if I don't like you, it's very obvious. Again, sorry, but as Lady Gaga says "I was born this way". My face gives me away and I generally try to just stay away from you or ignore you. It's not me being rude it's my way of being nice to you by keeping my distance.


But with these situations it's had me pondering if I have invited this behavior. I try to be very Zen like and  firmly believe everything happens for a reason, completely believe in karma and try to maintain being a good hearted person (what little heart I have left) and do right by others and reach out to those I think may be having a hard time or just need a little virtual hug.  I think any of my current friends and ex friends would tell you that I am a damn great friend in that respect. I just try to be there for my people, it was how I was raised.


Having said all that, am I delusional, and I know I have been in the past with other relationships but this is different. Do I really not practice what I preach? Am I a hypocrite? Am I just as gossipy or butt my nose where it doesn't belong girl? Rest assured I will look inward to correct that and come out on the other side even more enlightened.


As always, thank you for reading and kiss kiss hug hug.. Till we meet again.

Frenemies

When I left high school, I thought that would be the end of the back stabbing friend. I didn't really have any of those in high school, thankfully, but as I have aged I seem to gather them in my group. This must be why I normally had more guy friends then lady friends, dudes aren't big gossipers.  Some have been friends from other friends, and some have been significant others to my friends. Bottom line is they are never welcomed or needed.


I totally understand if you do something thinking, key word here is 'thinking' that you are doing a good thing. It rarely ever transpires into a helpful course of action though. All it does do is piss the person you thought you were helping out, and if there is more than one person connected to the issue, you've either lost them as a friend or you have annoyed them and made them feel betrayed.


We are all adults in this stage of the game, if you don't have anything else to focus on other than what friend likes what friend or betraying confidences of another friend, then get a frickin hobby. Pick up a second job or even a first if you don't currently have one. Do something other than gossip with other people in our group.


If I cant trust you, I cant have you around. And if I asked you point blank if you did or said something and you tell me no or give me another story, then I have two words for you BYE FELICIA.


Short and sweet, until we meet again, Kiss Kiss Hug Hug.

I love vacay

Is there anybody out there who doesn't love a good vacay? Or even a stacay as long as you don't have to go to work, isn't that pleasant enough? I do like my job but if I had a choice of sitting on the beach, or traveling or taking a cruise, work will lose every time.


I just came back from a delightful beach trip to San Destin, FL. Anytime I can get "home" I'm a happy girl. My college friend and her husband have a trailer, which was very nice I must say, and they got a spot on the beach. It could not have been more perfect. The employees were super helpful and nice, the people we met who also had trailers, motor homes, camping trailers, pop up's, were so friendly and chatty. Now I'm normally not that chatty, however, as I get older I have become more so. It usually helps if I'm holding a cocktail but you know.


Of course the beloved puppy Gigi accompanied me while the kit ties stayed home. Packing for Gigi reminded me of when I packed for the beloveds for a get away. Anyhoo, Gigi is the perfect little traveler. She has her 'car' bed she sits in, on the front seat naturally, and looks at me or just plays with her toys and then falls asleep. We stop for both of us to pee and she jumps to the grass and does her little sniffing and back in the car we are without a sound.


While at the campground they had a spot designated for the dogs in the area. Gigi wasn't too thrilled initially but at the end of the trip she was excited to get to it. I could have made money charging all the people who wanted to pet her and talk to her. She was somewhat of a little hooka though, every time someone would start to pet her she flipped on her back like she was wearing a thong and pasties. Ah, my sweet baby.....


The last day I was on the beach alone for a bit and it was really hot that day and the group next to us had tailgating tents up. I asked the AL fans if I could sit under their tent and read for a little while and the father of the group asked if my gator friend would be offended if I did so. I explained to him that I was in fact the gator and had just switched hats, thus his confusion. Also, P.S. Susan, my friend, and I look nothing alike. She is dark haired and short and I'm blonde and taller but hey grandpa, you are a Roll Tide fan soooooo.....:)\


I hope everyone gets away this summer or just gets away from work and enjoys some down time. Until we meet again peeps, kiss kiss and big hugs.

Disappointment....

I don't care what age you are, disappointment never gets easier. As early as childhood when say you wanted to go play at a friend's house and you couldn't for whatever reason, you felt disappointed. I remember growing up and people would say things about others or do things that weren't very kind to others, and all involved would be hurt, confused and again disappointed. That feeling is one of the more hurtful feelings one can endure.


As you grow older your reasons for being disappointed with someone, a situation, an inanimate object all change, but your feelings never do. With disappointment or betrayal it all hurts the same. You watch the news and you are disappointed in the world, our culture, our people as a whole and it's the same hurt, the same wondering of why.


I always say how much I hate people, which my Mother loathes, but sorry, disappointment is one of those reasons. I let someone in and get close enough for me to care about them, their lives, kids, animals, other friends etc and then disappointment hits. Recently I was told that I bring drama, and hate and other fabulous feelings and this is why we were no longer friends. Ok, I can accept some of that blame, but I refuse to take it all. I have always said out loud, if I don't like someone, I cannot hide my feelings, never have and sorry, but at 900 years old, it doesn't look good for that to change now. If I have to lose more friends because they have sided with another friend, then so be it. I will never ask people to choose one friend over the other, but know that if you speak of this friend, I will not add to the conversation unless I stick up for them. But I wont be adding to the fire with more comments because then it gets back to others and I'm the bad guy.


Life is hard enough as it is without people adding their two cents to others friend relationships. We all know this but sometimes we get so invested in a person and we care so deeply for them and don't want to see them get hurt it backfires on us. Lesson learned. Keep your most intimate feelings to yourself. .


Happy Monday to all.

You know you suck as a parent when......

I love my children, adore them even and spent many years, tears and money trying to have them but it doesn't matter how much you want a child sometimes you just have to face the fact that as hard as you tried to be everything you thought was a good parent, you fail. I have come to that bridge with mine. My sons are older and one is even technically, an adult, with the 'baby' only 5 months behind being an adult as well. My bestie had her first this past October and I remember all those baby days, then the toddler years, the snarky teen years, which I don't foresee mine ever growing out of, cant imagine why, and now adult years. This past Mother's Day I realized just how little my kids want to spend time with me. And don't sit there and read this and go 'Oh poor Alana' that's not what I'm looking for here. Just writing down my thoughts.....


When the divorce first happened, my youngest was barely two so he has never known living with both his parents whereas my older child was 7 and very aware of what was happening. He was and still is Team Dad, and my youngest was Team Mum, and that's ok. Even if the family stayed together I believe it would still be that way. Skyler and I not only look alike but we are too much alike and butt heads from time to time, where Spencer and I just flow together with each other, not at each other. We had equal time with the kids in the beginning. I had two days and every other weekend and he had the same. As Skyler got older he didn't want to spend the weekends with me so he stayed with his father, I fought it originally, but I realized if that's what he wants, then that's what I would give him. He still came over the week nights  and we still did things like vacay's or moovies or whatever else I had planned.


Spencer on the other hand never wanted to leave me. So even on my off days, I would keep him and in the summer every weekend he would stay. I loved it because I knew one day all of that would end and he would get a life and want to stay more with his brother and be there. Middle school that day came. Again, I was ok with it as long as that made him happy. To this day they still both come over for dinners on 'my' nights and still alternate the holidays as it was written, and it works out well. Instead of me going out every other weekend it was changed to being able to meet up with my friends every weekend if wanted.


A few weeks ago Spencer was after school rehearsing for his awesome character Lurch so he didn't make it to my house for dinners but Skyler would roll over. I should've just stood at the end of the driveway and held a to go bag because he came in ate and then immediately left. Great seeing you too, thanks for carving a huge 15 minutes out of your day to hang with me.


Mother's Day was almost as quick. Spencer has always given me something, either a cookie cake, or flowers or a gift, Skyler's comments are either "that's from both of us" or "you have me, that's your gift". Spencer however, always states the gifts are solely from him as he paid and went to get whatever it was I received. They did pick me up and take me to lunch. When lunch was done it was like 'get out of the car as fast as you can lady' because I got hugs and then I turned to wave and poof, they were gone. It made me realize that I am not the Mum I thought I was. They love me because they have to, but they don't like me. If they did like me they would want to spend time with me. At least that's what I do when I like people, spend time with them. And I don't see myself as the annoying mother no one wants to be around.


Obviously, I have to work on that, but I can only do so much. I feel like I've been working to repair my relationship with Skyler since the divorce, I know he blames me, even though they both can see why I wanted out of the marriage. There is only so much a person can do to try to get another person to understand or care about it. It doesn't matter if it's a friend, lover or in my case my own flesh and blood. I just know each night I pray that I can somehow be a better Mum than I was today.


I know some parents understand how I feel. And if you don't then that means, you are doing a fantastic job and your kids like you as well as love you. I salute you and I'm envious.


Till the next time, hug hug, kiss kiss. And thank you for reading.

My new Puppy

As many of my local peeps know I have been wanting a French Bulldog for almost 2 years. This past weekend I finally got one. Her name is Princess Gigi Buttercup and she is now 11 weeks old. Like any new Mum, she is absolutely beautiful, smart, brilliant etc. She is cream and white with a white streak down her head to her pushed in nose. Meep. She is so fantastic that I created her very own FB page, because why wouldn't I? Who am I to deny the world her amazingness?


This week was filled with house training and introducing her to her feline brother and sister and her human brothers. I looked at adopting rescue's but a lot of them were 'no cats' and since I used to babysit an adult Frenchie and saw how he would try to eat the cats, I figured a puppy would be the best bet. I was correct! Gigi's breeder had a cat so she is so not interested in chasing them to eat them or bite them. She runs after them to play and they look at me like WTF Mum? But she's a complete angel and like her Mum and most of her aunts, she loves the sun. Every time we go out she does her business and lays in the sun. She is perfect. In a few weeks we are traveling down to FL for a beach trip. Frenchie's are not really fans of the heat but I'm not throwing her on the beach at noon to bake, so no worries my PETA friends. Not to mention, I will be going to get her a hat and sunglasses, DUH.


I look forward to watching her grow and learn each day. And you know how funny and interesting pets are.