Childhood Memories

I was just in an Employee Performance Review and retold a favorite memory, and thought, why not share? So here it is.


I consider Southern Florida my home, specifically North Palm Beach as that's where I lived from 10-17. They were wonderful, beach filled, country club filled years that I adored. In high school I swam for the North Palm Beach Country Club and also Suncoast High School. I remember not being able to drive yet, so that meant me and my two neighbors, David and Karen, who also swam, would have to ride our 10 speeds to the country club for practice 4 days a week. I think it was a 15-20 minute bike ride and then we practiced for 2 hours and rode home. Thinking about it now, it's no wonder I would woof down anything my Mum made for dinner. That's a lot of exercise and why I wasn't a rail is beyond me, but whatever.


The thought of letting either of my beloveds ride a bike that far and at night is horrifying and I wouldn't allow them to do it. But back then we were safe and it was the three of us, and who is going to hassle two teen girls and a boy, apparently, no one because we all lived into adulthood.


I recall our coach was kind of a hard arse and he pushed us, but we were tough and could take it. I know you all think 'Alana let someone push her around?' Yes, teen Alana was not the "I don't think so homey" she is today. I do recall mouthing off somewhat but I think that was more complaining how cold the pool water was in the cooler months. That's more Princessy type stuff and I'm really not a prissy girl, but I don't like cold water when it's cold outside either. And don't sit there and say Florida doesn't get cold in the winter months, I beg to differ with you. Especially if you grew up in that atmosphere. 50 or below is cold and to jump into a pool is even chillier, so shut it. :) At least the northern states had indoor pools to wade around in, we did not have this luxury.


I so enjoyed being a part of the country club though. Every Fourth of July they did their own fireworks and I just remember them being so spectacular. We would all go pooling during the day, go home and eat and come back with blankets and watch on the golf course. So much fun filled with  social interactions. It was like what subdivisions are now, that closeness you have and every one knowing who's kid you were etc. I know I sound like some 90 year old recalling his youth, but it really wasn't that long ago. More years than I want to admit to, but not like the 1800's.


Hope you all have fond memories of your childhoods that you share with your kids, friends, co workers and that they make you smile like I did.


Until we meet again, kiss kiss hug hug and tell the people in your life just how much they mean to you because tomorrow is never promised.

Creating our own destiny!

As I have blogged about before, I completely believe in karma, positive thoughts, believing in your gut and your own intuition.


I'm sure you have all heard of the book "The Secret" and others like it. The reason that book/video works and sold so much is because we all know this information, but I think sometimes we need another source to tell us it's ok to actually believe in it and practice it. I have had dreams and thoughts come to fruition. For example:




When I was trying to get pregnant I did what most of us do, prayed for a child. After a few years I had a dream and saw what Beloved #1 actually looked like. At the time we were living in Cali but the house I saw was the house we moved into when we moved to GA. I never saw the GA house until I drove up. . When I drove up to the house and saw my "dream" house, I knew I was going to have a child. And with infertility, a lot of the battle, is you get so obsessed with your cycles, and your diet and your moods etc, that it consumes your life, your relationships and sometimes your job. I had this feeling that it was going to be ok. I would be blessed and I was. And he did look just like my dream. When I was trying for Beloved #2, same thing. He didn't take as long to achieve. I was telling people at work I was pregnant and everyone kept saying how I looked like I was carrying a girl, much to my horror, I never wanted girls, anyway, that night I had a dream and B2 was shown to me. And again, he came out and looked just like my dream.


I firmly believe if we put our selves in a quiet zone where we focus on what it is we truly want, we can achieve it. It may not happen tomorrow or next week, but it will come to fruition. Some of my thoughts I know people would think I was cray cray if I ever shared, but my heart, gut and intuition, all tell me, it will happen. I know some of you are wondering, "but what if it doesn't happen?" Well, I try not to think negatively with regards to those thoughts, but if for some reason my wants don't appear there must be a very good reason. That's my story and I'm sticking to that reasoning. :)


People, life is short, as we all know, and if you have goals or dreams, get busy and make those happen. WE are in control of our own destiny no one else has the power, at least no one else should have the power. You take care of you, and do your best, and good things will happen. We all get a little down every now and then, just don't stay down. Get up, get focused and get what YOU want out of YOUR life.


Till we meet again, love you much, kiss kiss hug hug...Stay focused.

Do you remember???

18 years ago today I remember where I was when Princess Diana was killed. Do you?


I was 9 months pregnant and I had the pregnancy insomnia. I had been up watching TV since about 1 am Eastern time. Back then there wasn't really anything on other than the 24 hour news channels so that's what I watching. All of the sudden 'BREAKING NEWS' alerted and they start talking about the car crash that the Princess was in. I gasped in horror, this is horrible news. No No No. Then a few minutes later they came back and said she had passed away. I cannot even begin to tell you the loss I felt.


Clearly, I never met Princess Di, however, we were  close in age and like her I had my 'heir and the spare'. We knew baby #2 was a boy. She had married an older man, so did I, she had a less than perfect marriage, so did I. She was a swimmer, so was I. She was a shy child, hard to believe, but so was I. She had the means to do things I wanted to do and still would love to do. She helped others and traveled the world educating people on various horrors of the world. She was caring, considerate, loving and above all, loved her beloved's more than life itself. As I sat there, talking to beloved #2 and patting my huge stomach, I cried for her, I cried for her sons. I couldn't imagine the pain they were having to bear at such a young age. Even now it's heartbreaking to think of.


I'm sure that Princess Diana is quite proud of her sons and thankfully Prince Charles redeemed himself with her passing. It appears he has stepped up and became the father they needed.


Life really is that short people. As I stated in my last blog about my friend, you just never know when your last day, minute, second really is. Please be nice to others, and yourself. We all have bad days, but remember, so does everyone else.


Kiss Kiss Hug Hug....smooches.

Suicide

I found out today that a most beloved friend, attempted to leave this world nearly a month ago. I cannot begin to tell you how devastated I am for me, his other friends and of course his poor family. He and I had discussed cutting out of here and we had a pact that if we ever felt that low, we would reach out no matter what time of day/night, we were there for each other. He made me promise to contact him if ever I found myself that despondent to living. Even though he didn't reach out to me, I feel as if I let him down.


Brian was the man who made me realize how miserable I was in my own marriage and gave me the courage to leave once and for all. I had toyed with the idea over the years but my ex was such a control freak that I knew it would take an army to get out. Brian gave me that oomph that I needed to see I was slowly dying within the marriage. We have been close friends ever since, and that's about 16 years now.


Brian was recently going through a divorce and the last communication we had was him telling me that he had moved into a new loft and giving me all the specs of the place. I now realize that his attempt to leave was a few days later. I knew what moving out and being all alone was about. When I divorced I left the house and moved into an apartment and it was the loneliest feeling ever. A one bedroom apartment after a 3 bedroom/2 bath house, was so revealing. When my kids weren't there I hated being there alone. It was small, dismal and very depressing. So when he told me he had moved I tried to talk up the benefits of being alone. I didn't want him to go through what I did. Clearly his was more lonely that I anticipated. When he left his house he left the step kids and his beloved dogs. I think if he had at least one of the dogs, he may have been able to weather the horrific feeling that overcame him that night.


I know we all have our highs and lows, some people don't get 'check out of dodge' low, but we all have our lonely periods. Thus why I got my beloved puppy, Gigi. Since they straightened out my hormones, I  am good. I don't think guys have the same kind of hormonal imbalance we lovely ladies endure at times.


All day I have done nothing but thought about Brian and his other friends and his poor mother. I can't even imagine how she is coping. But we Mom's are pretty strong when we have to be. He will have a very long road ahead of him to getting back to somewhat of a normal life, if that's even possible. I'm told that they still aren't clear just how much brain damage he may have incurred but he is having to relearn everything. That can't be a fun ride. I will pray for his family and for him that he does beat these crazy odds and comes back out on top. Knowing this guy, if anyone can do it, he has all the tools. He's amazing like that.


Till we meet again people, if you think about someone, tell them, if you worry about someone, tell them, if you need someone, TELL THEM. I knew something was wrong as Brian and I talked weekly and I couldn't get a hold of him but I just hoped he was that busy. Luckily an even better friend knew where he lived and when he couldn't reach him called the police and thus our Brian is still with us. Life really is that short and will pass or end in no time. Don't hesitate to let people know how you really feel, if you care about them. The worst that will happen is they will tell you "you are needy" or "give them a break". I'll take that over the alternative.

Things that annoy me part 3

1. People who don't know what side to walk on anywhere. Example: I'm passing you in a hallway, I'm on the right side (which is correct) you are walking towards me straight ahead, as we approach you need to move to your right (which is correct) so that we pass freely not crash in to each other bc you are too stupid to move.


2. People who pee on the toilet seat. There is generally seat covers in most facilities, USE THEM.


3. People who stand in front of my desk and talk bullshit with another while the rest of us are trying to work.


4. Arseholes who don't know how to drive or think they are the only person on the road.


5. People who bring up shiz that happened a year or 5 years ago and won't let it go. It happened we all moved on, why can't you?


6. Team meetings.


7. Guys who hit on you either through Facebook, or in public, and have girlfriends, spouses or the like.


8. People who stand in front of an escalator or elevator that have no intention of using said moving stair/box and don't move and couldn't care less you are trying to discretely stumble around them.


9. Dumbarses


10. Haters


And yes, I have taken my Xanax today, about 20 minutes ago. Thanks for asking. hahahahah. Until we meet again, kiss kiss, hug hug.

Relationship Issues

When I first met my now ex-husband, he brought these weird arse "rules" he thought I should adhere to. I will say as a young, naïve 21 year old, I did do a lot of them....until I didn't. He thought when he went to bed, I needed to join him. As in, I can't stay downstairs and watch tv or read or whatever else I felt like doing if he was going to bed. Yeah, I thought it was stupid as well. He soon got over that demand. Idiot. Another of his relationship rules was we could never go on vacay without the other. Uh, excuse me? We never did either. As much as I would tell him to go and see his family, without me, it never happened. Ugh. How about I was never "allowed" yes you read that right, to go out without him. When a friend wanted to meet for drinks or go dancing that wasn't going to happen. And you get to a point in a relationship where you "pick your battles" just like when you raise your kids.


When my sister reached bar age he would give me a lecture about going out with her, without him. It just got to be such a hassle that I stopped telling her I would go. Then when I finally had had enough of the relationship, the rules, the lectures, and I said "I'm out", what does he do? Tells me I can go out with my friends, or sister or whomever, he realizes that I need that. If you know me, you know that "telling" me I can do something, is a deal breaker. I don't need anyone telling me what I can do.


Even when I was younger being told what to do would make me flip like a Shamu. How dare anyone tell me what I can and can't do. Who the hell are you? Even my parents never got away with that. My Mum finally got wise and started using psychology and said things in a way that I didn't take offense to. My Dad never really told not to do anything. I was a perfect child, as I am in adulthood, so there was no guiding this Princess. hahahahahah


I have married friends and their husbands are so cool and if they don't feel like meeting up with us, they encourage their spouse to come. I also have friends who have relationships where it's just easier to stay home bc their other either mopes about it, or gives the stupidest reasons for not letting them go. And that's ok for them. Not my relationship, and I'm not judging them. Just creating a post.


For me, I will never again be in a relationship where I have to ask permission, or get approval to do something or go anywhere. I do however, give the respect of telling my other what I want to do to see if there are plans in the works. That, I have zero problem with. That's just a respectful thing to do, in my opinion. But I should never be afraid to ask if I can go meet Stephanie or hit the beach with Susan if that's what I choose to do.


Hope all is having a fabulous week. Kisses!

If you're male, you should never be caught dead wearing these items.

As with all of my posts, these are my personal comments, likes, dislikes and pet peeves. You don't have to agree, I allow you to have your own opinion. I'm flexible that way. :)


1. JESUS shoes, OMG, no, nada, never, not even on a dare, EVER wear these out. Save yourself and don't even purchase them. If a female buys them for you she is marking her territory. No woman likes these shoes on men, even his Mum Mary was all "oh sweetie, are you SURE you want to wear those?"


2. Net tank tops. It was funny in the 80's if you were thin and gay, now it's just sad and I don't care if you are the Rock, stay away from netting period.


3. Bike shorts. Unless you are in the Tour De France, no bueno.


4. Toe rings, just don't, please?


5. If you have a furry chest, DO NOT wear a tank top. No one wants to see the beast you contain under your day to day wear.


6. Speedos. My Dad was a huge Speedo wearer, but he could get away with it. Unless you are swimming for your country, keep to the board shorts.


7. Capri pants. Just wear shorts dude. Come on. Don't make people want to throw things at you.


8. Face tattoos. Why hide your beauty with ink. Save it for the arms, legs, chest, back etc.


9. Ratty, torn up, dirty underwear. Your Mum will thank you if you are ever brought into the ER. She won't have to hide her face in shame.


10. Crochet sweater vests. That says it all. If you have to ask, I will have to slap you.


Until we blog again, hug hug kiss kiss. Smooches.